Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lordbane2110 14
Oh, that's genius, you should have replied with "Go Away Anna"
denaeb123 24
Even though you were trying to have just a few minutes of privacy you have to admit that that is extremely adorable!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
Tarlachia 33
"Yes, but only if you stop singing that song!"
Regimental_Phan 18
I wouldn't of held it back anymore, and just let it go.
aubamas 20
let it go mom
Eivana 37
What a perfect song to take a hard to pass shit to. Hopefully, yours was quick.
photographer49 22
#2 She begins with "while TRYING to take a crap," I'm sure she was trying to force that out for a while
alex1022 11
i think salt n pepper- push it would fit the situation more appropriately.
lordbane2110 14
Oh, that's genius, you should have replied with "Go Away Anna"
cbroady0529 9
My three year old does the exact same thing, but when I say "go away, Anna!" She sings "ok byyyeeeee" and leaves me in peace for a few minutes. It was pretty cute the first 8,000 or so times :p
WolfyGrace 24
How fun that must have been! I know I would have hated it. That is my least favorite song from the movie.
immaMonsta 8
You have to admit, that is pretty adorable though.
AverageJoey 18
You should "Let it Go"
iTzSelverZz 14
Thats cute.
denaeb123 24
Even though you were trying to have just a few minutes of privacy you have to admit that that is extremely adorable!
JKPwnage 27
No.
Sandsh8rk 36
Please tell me you said no. Frozen is so overrated.
immaMonsta 8
Frozen is just really popular right now. I'm sure people thought the same about Lion King when it came out, what, 20 years ago? And to this day, Lion King is still one of the best Disney movies ever. My point, just because a movie is popular doesn't mean it is overrated.
photographer49 22
#9 That would be pretty messed up telling your 3 year old you won't build a snowman with them just because you hate the movie or the song.
brandoneyez1 25
I bet you hurried faster than ever.