Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
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Top comments
NiceGuyz 0
You should beat his disobedient ass!
Free_Candy 0
It better be trident layers.
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Comments (187)
NiceGuyz 0
You should beat his disobedient ass!
ktateprado 0
His dad never said NOT to sell the keys for gum. So technically he didn't know better:D
zbajis 7
gum > safety
Sportsfan86 3
OR change the locks
Pixxio_O 11
Sell his world of Warcraft account for condoms
koe4 0
get someone to house sit real quick while you replace the lock or somethong
aussie_gemini 5
Sure, "gum".. Is that's what kids are calling it these days
eminemchick 19
if they pay babysitters in trident layers, i see nothing wrong with what he did.
StopDropNRoll 11
I hear that 42. When the door is locked you can always use the window. Besides it was his friend. Besides what's the worse than can happen. * wakes up next morning, "oh, shit".*
JumboSquidster 0
Thing* not thong. Smh brah
nevergo 10
In highschool gum is the equivalent of gold. The more gum you have, the more powerful you will be haha
jjoyce6 0
Nobody ever pays me in gum :(
rulerofwow 0
well, at least you brought a healthy, living breathing person into this world. -rereads- but definitely could use some of those brain cells, kinda the cool part about being human.
willou35_fml 13
^^
Eaglestrike117 29
Get new locks?
Jazze_fml 10
get new locks make him pay and don't give him a new key and let him wait outside if nobody's home to let him in in the future? sounds reasonable to me.
KidCrewshal 2
Kick his ass
singhjr1 3
Get your locks rekeyed. Or get an electronic pad that you can change the code on. Both under $50.
1911_Angel 0
That's expensive depending on how many entries are keyed the same. Make the kid pay for it!
fanceh 10
gum for a house key? seems like a fair deal to me.
ktateprado 0
^ I think the guy that traded the gum for the key got ripped off.
fanceh 10
^ I was being completely sarcastic.
ambowew 7
You could attempt to haggle for the electronic pad with half a packet of gum, so you're not out of pocket.
ktateprado 0
20- you don't think that gum is better than house keys?!?!
chuckychan 8
^
StopDropNRoll 11
*Takes out sarcasm sign and points it at faceh* He was too! What's the point of being able to write a language you can't read?
Moonditch_fml 19
Change the locks, and make him pay for it...
ktateprado 0
With gum.
gan4sula 2
I would say sell her son for a new set of lock
DigitalFusion 4
This is why I invested in biometrics.
vanessaaaaa21 0
change the locks !
yoshiyakiryu 20
What made him think that was a good deal?
knights95 9
It was trident layers
coltsrock37 15
You should've keyed in on that one earlier
monzach 5
I'm pretty sure its queued (or cued?)
miianah1 22
It's a pun, you idiot. (Not a good one though)
Free_Candy 0
It better be trident layers.
heartbrakej 0
No one ever pays me in trident layers :(
ktateprado 0
The way your pictures are lined up it's like I'm going to get free candy but my sub conscious says to stop. Bitch.
Free_Candy 0
It's not really free. Ten bucks for you to die.
LuhDemDinosaurz 6
I babysit for my trident layers.
hchardman 0
I got paid in tridant layers before , but i was pretty pissed to realize they gave me the ******* green kind-.-
Skepticaalx 11
change the locks and don't give your son a key? :)
byteolu 0
Yea change the locks
jedielf 23
The person who got the house keys is one hell of a cheap bastard :P
Keyganator 5
Hes asked many times to be payed in gum but got neglected, can't help but say I'd do the same thing.
BB_ava 0
11's name matches the FML (y)
Poepiepiesie 3
Wow that comment matches the foto 100%
sxe_beast 11
What is a foto?
Cleao18317 11
Change the locks