Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, my son was booted out of the army after one week for laziness, giving attitude to his training sergeant, sheer bloody stupidity, and asking the man who ran the on base shop if he could score weed anywhere on base. Even the army can’t sort out this asshole I gave birth to. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML
Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I found out my boss was quiet-firing me on purpose. Apparently, his daughter who works at this same company is pregnant now and needs a promotion. I have a Master’s and have been here for 9 years. She dropped out of college because it was “too hard” and the other day she put a metal spoon in the microwave. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, but he's not unemployed scum.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
tbh I feel like a lot depends on how often your son smokes/got caught smoking/if the job he did(or I guess does...) would be dangerous while high. If his work performance wasn't jeopardized and this was the first offense, then the boss is kinda the asshole here. If the latter is the case, then honestly, props to your entrepreneur son who knows how to work the capitalist system 🤷🤷 Now if it was the former.... then yeah, your son's a douche...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, but he's not unemployed scum.
Marcella1016 32
I know a lot of employed scum, and it sucks because their job is just to hang out clinging to the tiles in my bathroom.
eellik 12
That's not gonna last for long. Someone will replace his boss soon and then he'll have to work or get fired again.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
tbh I feel like a lot depends on how often your son smokes/got caught smoking/if the job he did(or I guess does...) would be dangerous while high. If his work performance wasn't jeopardized and this was the first offense, then the boss is kinda the asshole here. If the latter is the case, then honestly, props to your entrepreneur son who knows how to work the capitalist system 🤷🤷 Now if it was the former.... then yeah, your son's a douche...
kfchicken 31
I think you missed the part where it said the son was literally celebrating what happened
BurnInDemonFire 39
Scum is an understatement.