Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
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Top comments
popaulina 8
I'm all for adults smoking weed recreationally, but teens smoke weed and get lazy and their grades drop. I'm sure it's also not all teens, I smoked and still did great in school, but if this parent is testing their kid there's probably a problem. The best thing to do OP is to teach your kid to use it responsibly. Or to act like it's totally cool, and see if he just gives up on it. There's really no great parenting answer to getting your kid to stop doing drugs.
DanaeZee 18
Parents are testing their kids for drugs in the US? Sounds weird o.O Also, doesn't seem like a good way to deal with the problem itself. If your child takes drugs or you think so, you should work on the relationship so they know they can turn to you for help, not just controlling them or handing out punishment if they "fail". It's hard to work with teenagers against their will if they don't want to quit. My English is too bad to really describe what I mean :-(
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Comments (13)
HUGBUG 23
Future president
TreyaMarie 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't get why the fact he failed for weed constitutes as an FML.... Weed should be the least of your worries drug wise. Maybe he's using it medicinally? Talk to him. Yeah, I get he's probably still young...But, when I was in middle school and high school, tons of my friends smoked cause we were stressed. It was their only relief from the stress and anxiety that came with being a teen.
SassySlytherin 16
it's still illegal in most states, i know a lot of parents who wouldn't want their kids smoking for that purpose alone.
JenRae93 13
True weed is one of the least worrisome drugs that a teen could be using, but it is still a drug and depending on how young he is it could affect his development. Also using it as a way of coping with stress is one of the worst reasons for using...if you're using it just for fun that's one thing, but if you're using it to cope with other problems rather than dealing with those problems it's a slippery slope to much worse issues...and it's illegal so if he got caught with it he could be facing a whole slew of charges that would affect his future.
thatsme293 28
Who actually smokes weed in middle school? What kind of childhood is that?
popaulina 8
I'm all for adults smoking weed recreationally, but teens smoke weed and get lazy and their grades drop. I'm sure it's also not all teens, I smoked and still did great in school, but if this parent is testing their kid there's probably a problem. The best thing to do OP is to teach your kid to use it responsibly. Or to act like it's totally cool, and see if he just gives up on it. There's really no great parenting answer to getting your kid to stop doing drugs.
the_bammit 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you 100% deserve this, ha ha ha. Every time my parents drug tested me I would do that. I never did drugs, but that didn't stop them testing me every 6 months.
foots4141 5
Did you give then reason to think you were?
ber4fun 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Thank you for being a parent who cares what their child is up to. It may seem harsh to him now but it's what he needs in the long run.
ArbiterOfFML 24
Why are people downvoting this?
tosdyke 16
Guess next time you'll be thinking disposable gloves...
TeacherTeem 21
Why the F is this "this could have happened to me" instead of "you deserved it". It couldn't have happened to me because I am not a dick and it most definitely isn't FML.
DanaeZee 18
Parents are testing their kids for drugs in the US? Sounds weird o.O Also, doesn't seem like a good way to deal with the problem itself. If your child takes drugs or you think so, you should work on the relationship so they know they can turn to you for help, not just controlling them or handing out punishment if they "fail". It's hard to work with teenagers against their will if they don't want to quit. My English is too bad to really describe what I mean :-(
Mysterybounty 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Weed is not a drug and is better for you than alcohol and cigarettes so maybe you should lay off and be more open minded.
satanic_fml 13
"not a drug" let's be realistic...
imbored932 4
seriously? It is a drug. It is still illegal in most states (and federally). While you might disagree personally, you are wrong. While easy enough to tell OP to be more open minded, kids need to learn to listen to parents and follow rule/law.
samsam23t 8
does your son have a disability? like social anxiety , or depression or test anxiety because if he's using it to help aid in the relaxation of such disorders as opposed to just rec. it's a big help. as for memory short term will suffer for a short amount of time once he quits his short term will come back stronger all the while his long term memory will grow stronger as well. in the long term it's not that bad of a drug. I wouldn't worry about it the stigma about it being a gateway drug comes from when people don't get it from a weed dealer and get it from a person who does other stuff too. I would just make sure he's keeping up his grades,social life, and homework. if none of its declining he's okay as soon as it starts have a talk about responsible usage with him.
lostmongoose 23
Weed can actually make some anxiety and depression worse. Plus if it's a teen and in a state where it isn't legal the weed itself might not be safe, laced with other drugs and chemicals.