Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Sneaky dad
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Stoner
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Dope
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Don't blame me
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Respect the herb
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
Top comments
Razi_tail 25
It sounds like your dad is a real gem to be around. Sorry you have to deal with such critics when he isn't much better. :/
kelseysking 26
Now that's a hypocrite if I have ever seen one cigarettes do worse damage.
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Comments (178)
Razi_tail 25
It sounds like your dad is a real gem to be around. Sorry you have to deal with such critics when he isn't much better. :/
laureri 26
"You pops caught you smoking and he said, "No way!" That hypocrite smokes two packs a day Man, living at home is such a drag" Couldn't resist :)
princesspeachxox 18
Maybe his dad just doesn't want him to become an addict to drugs like himself. He probably regrets being a chain smoker and cares about his son enough to stop him? There's two sides to every story....
IllegalName 8
I have to agree with #89, I smoke and it is a bad habit to quit. I never smoked weed, but ive smelt it didnt care for it. Also could be thr fact that your under his house, his rules.Plus, trying to keep you from getting it on your record if you do happen to get caught. There is always two sides to every story and if you tried it once, just either becareful and dont get caught or avoid it all together. My sister used to smoke it before and once she quit weed, most of the friends she hung out with disappeared with the exception of a few close friends.
nospmis517 21
Sounds like he sees something he doesn't like in himself
GRubi 17
You can't become chemically addicted to weed. Your logic doesn't track and therefore, your argument holds no weight.
princesspeachxox 18
132, I know a lot of people who are addicted to weed actually, it's also a "gateway" drug so his dad could be worrying that he'll get into stronger drugs in the future...
Adeptasaurus 12
89, if his dad called him a "useless waste of air" I don't think he cares all too much
edmunson 22
WTF do people call weed a "gateway drug" for? The only thing that drug leads to is munchies or naps! Just sayin!
Helldemon 32
Because they believe anything they read or hear I guess lol
LittleTrees 6
Milk is a gateway drug to liquor. Whats your point? Everything is gateway to something.
kelseysking 26
Now that's a hypocrite if I have ever seen one cigarettes do worse damage.
SarahSehhati 40
Smoking in general is bad but your dad is worthless pos for saying that to you. People need to start realizing they need to build thier children up because the world is already going to knock them down.
granCanyon 12
His father is a grown up man and he can do whathever he wants. If the kid don't like it then he can find a job, rent a house and live like an adult man. As long as you're under your parents control then shut up and do what they ask you to do. Their house, thier rules. I'm sure his father knows that weed is not that bad but he's just disappointed that his son's starting to experiment with drugs. I'm sure his father wouldn't be that angry if OP was 10 years older and had a brilliant career. Right now OP is building his future, this is when OP's making the choices that will either get him a place at a top university or make him work for minimum wage for the rest of his life. This is only a few years and if you screw something you can destroy your whole life. I'm not saying weed will destroy his life but it's really not a good moment to start experimenting with drugs.
DeltaDragonxx 20
I think that build children up is great, but when a game of "he said she said he called you a name" destroyed them, they need to be toughened a bit.
natalie_sucks 9
Every teenager experiments with drugs and alcohol. My ex has been smoking weed since he was 14. He's 17, with better grades than me. I'm an honor roll student right now. He has a good job that pays a lot, he takes care of his mom and sisters, he cleans every single morning, and he's a good kid. The only thing that'll **** him up in the long run, is him not being able to be faithful to any girl he's with, no matter how god damn perfect they are. He's going somewhere in life. Weed doesn't mess up your future. Your actions do.
Misoranomegami 16
Sorry, but no 'every teenager' does not experiment with drugs and alcohol. Plenty of kids avoid it. And like it or not drug use even as a teenager or young adult can impact your life later on especially if you get a conviction. Some careers have 'moral character' requirements and will check for a history of drug use. Plus if you get caught with it and the authorities decide you had intent to sell they can charge you with a felony which further limits your education and job opportuntitties. Tl:dr? Illegal drug use can seriously impact your future.
SkyGuy32 17
Weed can have the same effects as tobacco smoking over time, and cause brain damage in addition. You can read about it at http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/marijuana But the point of this FML isn't that he shouldn't be punished for weed but that his dad shouldn't smoke.
jkmartinjk 16
@ natalie_sucks, what a horribly inaccurate generalization. I'm 18 and I've never experimented with drugs or alcohol and know plenty of others who haven't either.
ninety 25
Build their children up? You're right, someone should let their minor child smoke weed and be totally ok with it because smoking pot builds lots of character in a person and adequately equips them with the skills to effectively handle the world around them. Especially if you're a parent that smokes cigarettes. Wouldn't want to look like a hypocrite.. O wait
Helpfulman 17
@101 based on your profile picture I doubt you have a boyfriend. I also hate how people say " experimenting" with drugs like its no big deal and that people shouldn't have any problem with it. Drugs harm you and are illegal (even weed) don't do them kids.
dpook 7
Thanks for spelling hypocrite right :)
Helldemon 32
#107 you actually believe that absolute 100% bullshit they say on there? lol I didn't get past the second paragraph. Although the federal government considers marijuana a Schedule I substance (having no medicinal uses and high risk for abuse This statement is 100% incorrect.
DanielleinDC 34
I have to wonder if this was a first offense. And how many kids do drugs because their parents do drugs? Either way, it sounds very hypocritical for dad to insult his kid for having tried marijuana and then go smoke cancer sticks.
Kayjose 8
but cigarettes cause cancer.... just saying.
Lct1196 31
Im pretty sure inhaling any kind of smoke would cause some sort of damage, especially over a long period of time. The only difference is, tobacco has shown proof of physical addictions, while weed has not. Therefore, tobacco would be the worse drug, and not weed.
bunny409 14
anyone can be addicted to anything. Thats why theres a show called my strange addiction. I am not against weed,but im just putting that out there.
AnOriginalName 19
46, that show is full of psychological addictions. Tobacco causes physiological addiction, where use actually changes the body's chemistry. Quitting from a physiological addiction will cause physiological withdrawal symptoms, whereas quitting a psychological addiction won't.
dipshitpoopyhead 7
as everyone else has said smoking and inhaling anything like that can cause cancer
ninety 25
A person is fully capable of experiencing withdrawal symptoms from a psychological addiction. they may not go through quite the same symptoms, but it still happens none the less. Smoke weed if you want, but let's all quit pretending it's a magical, fairy filled substance that cures everything, and not just another addictive substance.
corporatecasual 3
Actually clinical studies have shown that smoking marijuana inhibits cancer cell growth. Not saying it doesn't have negative effects, just that cancer isn't one of them.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Smoking weed can not cause cancer of any type @96. If it could in any way shape or form they wouldn't prescribe it to cancer patients... Aside from that, this is not an FML. OP got caught doing something illegal, his dad smoking is not illegal. That does make him a hypocrite and definitely doesn't make this an FML. Just a kid whining about the fact that he got in caught.
MattM95 16
My parents are hypocrites too. I think it's some unwritten rule that they can't be wrong.
DippinGrizzly907 27
What?!? Parents being wrong??! That is unheard of old sport!! The all mighty parents can never be wrong! So says the parents handbook for dummies!
smc3106 25
Well, you could always move out of THEIR house and not have to listen to them. No?
weveallbeenthere 30
weed is illegal in most places, cigarettes are not. ydi
orbit 22
So is j walking
Tuffmuffin 10
So is murder, laws are here for a reason.
Dre27 20
That doesnt make cigs any better, let me know when they start writing prescriptions for cigs to cancer patients.
Khaleesi_26 30
How can you say that OP deserves it when you have no clue islf their place is an actual illegal spot? But don't take this comment as I support OP's actions because i don't. I'm just pointing out that not everywhere are the laws the same.
Flowtastic 16
The fact that he can be grounded seems to say it is illegal or at least not legal for his age or tolerated under his parents roof. So yes I say YDI as well. When the OP is living on their own, paying their own bills etc, then they can live freely.
slyde32 12
being grounded for something doesn't make illegal, op's parents might just be against pot, drinking is legal, but I know people who aren't allowed to drink at home despite being the legal age
Brandi_Faith 34
Yes op's dad is a hypocrite, however that's not really the issue. I'm assuming OP is under 18 and he lives in his parents house. Chances are it is illegal where they live, even if it is legal he's probably underage to be using it and on top of it the rules of his dad's house is no weed. So for those reasons it is a YDI. However, with that said, no parent should call their child a useless waste of space and being grounded for a year is not only ridiculous but defeats the purpose of the punishment seeing as the dad will most likely not follow through with op's punishment. So yes definitely FYL OP. Sorry your dad said those hurtful things.
horneyhic 15
It didn't say it happened under his parents roof tho he could've tried it anywhere
slyde32 12
grounded for the rest of the year, not a full year, still a long grounding, though
DArthurVaderian 18
If you live with your parents you follow their rules. Simple as that.
newyorkcityguy 9
Stupid justification, lol.
oJoy 11
and yet weed hasn't killed anyone, smoking has? Lmfao
Tuffmuffin 10
While your dad is a total douche, if you were smoking weed in a place where it is against the law you shouldn't be doing it.
RastaZebra 8
Why?
spatula232 25
"Do as I say, not as I do"
Sports_guy3 28
**** that. Lead by example.
Brandi_Faith 34
Real men lead by example.
Nyx7 24
I hate that term, biggest crock of hypocritical shit people say. You know children are easily influenced, so set a good example instead of spouting nonsense
slyde32 12
what're you on about?? leading by example is a good thing, and do as I say, not as I do, is just the person saying it jokingly
Nyx7 24
What I was on about is "do as I say not as I do" just tells the child its ok for one person but not another, hence showing thema hypocritical double standard.
Flowtastic 16
^not unless you explain to the child that when they are an adult and paying their own bills that they are able to make the decision whether they want to do that or not. It's not hypocritical for a parent to smoke and tell their child not to smoke until they are living on their own and paying their own bills. It would only be hypocritical if said parent was living with their parents and not paying for their own way etc.
Godsofdracos 15
If you tried to hide it from him then it's your own fault he responded that way, especially if he found out from someone other than you. Bet you wouldn't be in as much trouble if you told him about it.
Axel5238 29
Smoking cigarettes isn't illegal. Also, there are those that do put other things in the weed like LSD. Not hypocritical really. He doesn't want the OP potentially getting arrested or if it is legal then he doesn't want the OP getting high that's all. You smoke cigarettes so I should be able to get high? What the hell, most know cigarettes are unhealthy, but they aren't pretending it is harmless or good for you like a lot of pot smokers do.
blackkitteh69 3
Agree with this
tournamentdecide 33
That's what we have the thumbs up button for!
laureri 26
Where the hell are you getting weed with LSD? That's the most improbable scenario of weed being laced. That's like saying "Hey kids, if you're gonna do the weed make sure you use clean needles." Just saying
Axel5238 29
I have gotten it myself not knowing. I'm not a smoker(weed) and definitely tripped. People do add stuff to it, same with coke or pretty much anything. It does happen, never known a pot smoker that didn't do harder stuff on occasion except for maybe 1 person. Lots of people are looking for a better or a different high.
laureri 26
It wasn't LSD, that was my only point.... and new point, lots of chemicals make you "trip". Combustion doesn't activate LSD's effects. Hence above comment. Science Bitch!
horneyhic 15
Man I'd love some LSD in my dope. It's one of the safest drugs out there (appart from doing stupid things while on it)
jayeterror775 18
#67 LSD is the funnest hallucinogen I've ever taken. I take hallucinogens as a religious practice though. Actually one day I plan on opening my own church =).
Astrum14 24
Did you just say it's better to do something that you know is bad for you than something you don't know is bad for you? Did these words actually come out of your brain?
stargirl_95 24
#80 that actually makes sense and here's why. When you know something is bad for you chances are that you know exactly why it's bad for you, you know all the risks, and you know exactly what you're getting yourself into. However, when you don't know that something is bad for you, you're not aware of and not prepared to deal with any of the risks. I don't know about you but I'd rather know exactly what I'm getting myself into than get a nasty surprise
rocker_chick105 31
61 is very true. The thing that makes you high while smoking weed is the fact that above a certain temperature, the THC changes into a form that can get you high.
Arcadiaaa 12
Actually, pot has been clinically proven not to cause any detrimental damage to the body. Yes, it may be illegal in most states (the only con about it), but it is ten times better than smoking cigarettes.
Axel5238 29
Whether or not it was LSD isn't the point. I tripped, or whatever and it there was something else than just pot. People do add things into weed, and to get something laced unexpectedly is really a big concern especially when you aren't sure what else they put into it.
flufee2 27
He doesnt want you getting caught with it because its illegal.. Once ur 19 and smoke a cig and he complains then you post on here
volcanes_jovenes 6
No where in that post does it state an age. For all we know, OP could be in their twenties. It doesn't matter how old someone's kid is, they will still get onto them for doing something they think is wrong.
Flowtastic 16
It's posted in kids, and the OP is getting grounded. Let's do a little reasoning there rather than needing everything pointed out to us....
shesaywha 19
if OP was in their 20's I doubt they'd be whining on here about how bad their life is because they were grounded.
corporatecasual 3
You're always your parents' "kid". Even 80 year olds are their parents' kids.
Flowtastic 16
I don't know many 80 year olds who's parents are still with us, much less being grounded. Again this is where the deductive reasoning portion of my post becomes relevant.