Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
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Top comments
DeeJayD 0
Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.
dudewithface 0
happy birthday :)
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Comments (92)
dudewithface 0
happy birthday :)
victoria4161993 0
you are 18???? can't you just move out they can't do that???
loganm22 0
they're not going to say happy birthday to you if they just found weed on your bed (even though it's not yours)
treesdevin 0
**** his birthday...... you're one year closer to dying congrats......FYL & **** your parents for being beezies....
chocolatedrop 0
clearly they don't love u if ur in boarding school
hannah1203 2
It wasn't your weed, it was mine ;)
cocobulla1 4
happy birthday!!!! and lmao!!!!
lubby_fml 0
Happy birthday! ^_^ edit: damn second..... Well yay for the weed not being yours. XD
brianjman14 23
wats so good about the weed not being his?
darkness_within 0
Happy Birthday!
SwordSlasher 0
Happy birthday :D
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Guest HOUSE? Holy shit, your parents are loaded. Call your butler, maybe he remembered. Actually, you kinda deserve it for calling your parents expecting them to say something - it's like fishing for compliments. Why not wait until they call you to wish you happy birthday?
thatguynamedsky 32
so now calling your parents on your birthday is fishing for compliments? SERIOUSLY?!
greenman_fml 0
you're at least going to smoke a birthday blunt right? stick it to the man!
suxs4ulol 22
i hate u! plus if shes in a boarding school how would she smoke da weed at the house?
mariposa25 0
Well you should piss clean then, what's there to worry about? And happy birthday.
FusioN_fml 0
take the drug test then go buy some weed, bring it back to your guest house, smoke it, then say "now you have a reason to believe i have weed"
DeeJayD 0
Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.
emmadawie 0
HAPPPPPPPPYY BIRTHDAY :D and oh that sucks :( (N)