Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML
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Top comments
emmmilyyy 0
u don't have to drive anyone anywhere. have some dignity.
Beagle96 0
don't take it too hard on yourself. don't be in such a rush. save it for someone who cares fo you as you do them
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Comments (68)
dogpup4 23
At least your friend believed in you.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Well I for one would be glad to know you and help you practice for when the right one comes along.
cburke9 7
omg get laid already!
angrystare 6
At least he had faith in you
calebhara 5
At least it's del taco
jennt89 10
good. save it. don't rush.
princessshorty 1
Xsan
enigmaticguy 0
you shouldn't feel bad about not losing your virginity
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You shouldn't have driven them. Make them get their own ride.
annerenb 6
Victory Burrito™