Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML
Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I found out that absentmindedly correcting my boss's use of the word "whom" could result in my immediate termination. FML
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Top comments
____gerard____ 11
I don't see how that could've been offensive to gay people
HeadlessSparrow 20
Horrible Bosses 3: FML edition
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Comments (88)
____gerard____ 11
I don't see how that could've been offensive to gay people
Exodiafinder687 58
It's like Carlos Mencia once said. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.
HighasaCloud 46
It's about as offensive to homosexuals as it is to black people who have been shanked before. Only in the minds of overly sensitive people who take everything out of context and blow it out of proportion.
seriouslygrowup 11
unless his boss is in the closet and found it upsetting that he could read his mind and then make up euphemisms about it
spoo 24
The boss is obsessing about being poked in the pooper. OP's comment connected to their thoughts so they naturally assumed it had to be exactly what the boss was thinking about.
bobman51 15
Well your boss is an ignorant asshole, case closed
patrickalamo 48
After researching... I have not found your boss interpretation anywhere. Go to HR. He is crazy...
HeadlessSparrow 20
Horrible Bosses 3: FML edition
Erebus_Terror 12
At first glance, it sounds more like encouraging the murder of Black people, if anything.
jamiro11 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you sir, made my evening
theaaxis 27
and you sir, need better evenings.
Jdlove2 20
I laughed to hard at this
energizerbunny23 18
Your boss needs to relax a little
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Sounds like your boss just wanted an excuse to berate you, even if it's a common saying.
Perfectly_Killer 14
Its a sad day when a straight person gets more upset than a gay person after a "gay comment". Especially if its not meant to be one at all.
ulissey_fml 22
Your boss believes it's a stab dat matters because he heard Haydn meanings in your words.
HarleyBlues 24
?
RBW_Slave 9
I thought this was the English FML site...
MidnaLink 35
"You boss believes that the word "stab" matters because he heard. It's the hidden meaning in your words".
enddmd 27
Thanks 42, my gibberish translator was broken.
SingleMom_of_2 5
Seriously 42 thanks I was at a loss on how to translate that one
clemsi 20
if you think 8s gibberish was bad, go look at #70s....it made my translator burst into flames.
HairIsEverything 15
#58 I think you're either confused, or typed the comment number wrong.. #70's is very easy to read and grammar/spelling is fine.
clemsi 20
I don't even see 70s comment anymore so I can double check.
Pizzapiggy1 18
Your boss needs to go back to high-school if he doesn't even understand simple euphemisms
EJSwank 14
Sounds like he's a little too worried about seeming homophobic. Clearly he's got some issues of his own to work out