Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
You are what you eat
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
College life
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
It's funny because it's true
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Student life
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Dude, WTF?
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
skyenoelle 15
You just keep on doing what your doing, cause eventually it's going to pay off. She's going to screwed in a few years, whereas you'll be set for an actual future.
applexj 13
Maybe you are getting bad grades because you are studying the wrong thing, also your roommate will get what they deserve one day you just watch.
withered 30
You are saying as if her roomate deserves something bad happening to her just because she is "more succesfull" with less effort.
charvisioku 22
To be honest, the reason for her being 'better' than you in so many ways is probably because she doesn't stress herself out too much trying to better herself all the time. I've always found that I get better grades, stay in better shape etc if I just do the work I'm set, study for a certain amount of time each day and don't have a ridiculous diet. If I stress and start trying to make a point of working out and studying, I end up spotty and depressed and fall behind in my work. Just chill a bit and stop focusing on what your room mate is doing with her life.
irateyou 9
Stash six more burger wrappers next to her. Maybe when she wakes up she'll think she has hit rock bottom and get her act together. Or take some pictures to show her next love interest.
testestestes123 4
Is your roomate a stripper? Burns off the burgers dancing, makes good tips giving lap dances, and blows the professor for an A. Makes sense
Deirdre_Curry 4
Well ask her how she does it
ka1729 14
***** get stuff done
etchsanity1 11
Ok I expect to get thumbed Down so have fun... I am hitting YDI simply because if you get obsessed or overly focused on something because a different person has different advantages all you do is make yourself disheartened and generally put yourself in a bad mood. Everyone assumes this girl will eventually blow up or not succeed in her field... This may not be true many people with a high metabolism can stay physically attractive just by being active even if that activity is just dancing at the club or being on your feet and running around regularly. Also if her grades are good without requiring a heavy amount of study the she could be quite good at her career her drinking and partying doesn't say she has a bad work ethic just that she likes to get a little nutty in her free time maintaining good grades shows she puts in the work she needs ... You should look at your own skills and the things you do well instead I'm naturally trim and in shape without a ton of effort and my brother is about 400 lbs that said I pick up things very easily academically maybe even better than him but he is artistically and creatively more gifted than I have ever been. I have told him before I wish I could pick up instruments as quickly and easily as he does and he always jokes he'd trade me for my six pack lol. It doesn't matter what someone else's gifts are you have to find what you yourself are good at and focus on that otherwise obsessing over someone else's success or failure will make you bitter and that's why I am voting YDI for letting or even making someone else's life have so much effect on your own outlook. Also I was a depressed little kid all through school doing what you are doing wanting somebody else's talents without realizing my own made me miserable. I'm not trying to be a prick here but just to tell you that you will be happier in the long run if you focus on yourself instead of others there will always be someone prettier, more successful, or who just plain has it better but that doesn't mean you have it any worse.
slushyslime 7
I agree with you 100%
unixdude 9
And all this time I believed English was an information-dense language...
lowshadows 21
its not an instant thing. good things take their ****** time. just look at the long run.
DanielleinDC 34
That really sucks, OP, but hopefully in the end, it will even out.