Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
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Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
ilovegordon 6
Her irresponsible life choices will catch up to her eventually. Just keep doing what you're doing and by the time you're both 30, you'll be far ahead of her both in life and looks.
YUNOLIKE 6
Don't worry she'll soon be fat,eating like that will just make you gain weight
DutchBasterd 15
or cause her to have a heart attack. .
aliciamartinez15 11
That sucks. You shouldn't worry though. You will be much better of in the long run. Just wait. Her metabolism will slow right down and her bad habits will come back to bite her in the (large) ass! ( l )
MelTheGreat 23
Dat ass...
EsotericBrent 29
It won't last forever; most people burn out after a few months or even year(s) of straight partying. The work ethic you're building up now is extremely admirable and will serve you well throughout your life
sinking_fish 12
I am very curious to hear where OPs flatmate is at in the next 10 years compared to OP. Though, it is safe to assume the outcome.
lakersfan2424 8
FYL.
pheebs314 17
Just because she is thinner doesn't mean she is healthier! Her cholesterol is probably higher, and she's most likely that thin because she isn't getting the proper nutrients.
djr1217 7
You need to relax and get out a little bit
djr1217 7
You need to relax and get out a little bit
theandrewdays 2
Not her fault so don't complain about her.
superminty 18
In the end you'll have better habits and better health.