Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
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Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
slushyslime 7
What do you mean there is no karma . Just cause she gets drunk and you don't , karma should work. She probably is an overall better person than you . Also you will always be unsatisfied if you keep comparing your life to others
onorexveritas 24
with that information you could think up some pretty horrid scenarios in which she is not better than you.
Kalipczo 21
When her metabolism hits a wall and she puts on 50 lbs you'll have the last laugh.
_wraith 15
You'll never be satisfied if you keep comparing yourself to others. Just keep doing what you're doing and try not devoting the energy into resenting her because it's really not worth your time.
vbmg152 19
Unfortunately, that's the way life is! I went to school with people that never opened a book or did an assignment yet, they'd get A's on the tests & I had to struggle! Most of these people are dead either from drugs or suicide or they're in jail! 40 years from now, you'll still be standing!!
heartemopants 18
I'll hate her for you
DeadxManxWalking 27
Is she a bartender?
xXGIR6Xx 4
i know exactly what u mean
Botwa 7
Oh believe me, I know what you're talking about... I feel so sorry for you. Hate this situation.
mowmowlife 21
LOL! I don't know, either she's an angel with one oddity or you aren't or will start to pull through...