Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML
Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML
Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish an essay. I submitted it one minute before the deadline. Later, I opened the file to double-check and realized I'd uploaded my rough draft, containing notes like “THIS PART MAKES NO SENSE, FIX LATER.” The professor then replied, “I agree with your assessments.” FML
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML
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Top comments
giantsfan2010 23
Some people are just naturally better at writing than others. Don't beat yourself up about it OP.
gosh_mate 30
Don't give up! Education can be stressful, but you aren't doing any good by comparing yourself to others. His paper may read better, but yours could contain the information your professor is after.
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Comments (53)
zobara 29
That sounds as if you wanted him to fail.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Maybe not fail, but op wishes they could have it that easy. The essay part.
tantanpanda 26
No, it's more of the feeling "my stoned roommate who did the essay within an hour did better than me who did it all weekend". It's not necessarily that OP wanted her roommate to fail, but she feels like shit because she did so bad with all the work she put In versus her roommate who didn't try that hard.
EvilLittleGirl 24
Some people just have it better than others
giantsfan2010 23
Some people are just naturally better at writing than others. Don't beat yourself up about it OP.
JustinJK 21
Exactly. My friend is an engineering major. He's brilliant, but can't write for shit. I always have to proof his papers.
zebrababe123 12
Maybe look on the bright side: if he is that good at essays and can do them that quickly with so little effort, then maybe he will be a good person to edit/revise your writing and/or tudor you (assuming that he is someone who is nice and doesn't rub his intelligence in your face). It's also a bonus for convenience sake that he is your roommate.
counting_graves 0
I feel like you just described me. Its so accurate its almost scary.
llamaparty 9
That sucks. But you can do it, come on!
2infbvcxxcvbj 13
Cheer up op! Some people just have to work a little harder than others in certain areas. over thinking will only decrease your motivation and creativity. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
gosh_mate 30
Don't give up! Education can be stressful, but you aren't doing any good by comparing yourself to others. His paper may read better, but yours could contain the information your professor is after.
izzajaneful 24
He said it was worse. So, no... It couldn't be better.
ChristySaysRawr 14
That sucks. :( I wish I could finish my essays in less than an hour.
nzhx 23
Don't stress too much, OP. That can actually make it more difficult for you! I know it's hard, but some people are just better writer than others - especially when they're completely mellowed out
deathmec 20
I wish more people could think like you. :)
I_Like_Dogs 28
Maybe the teacher was stoned too.