Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
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Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
charlton2142 5
Obviously your doing it wrong
crzysam96 7
Wow i I hate when people just throw their lives away like that. Don't worry it'll pay off for you in the long run.
bubble_burst 16
I'm guessing the Good Body and the booze (with teachers and bosses) gets her more money and better grades.... Big boobs +Good face = better pay, more guys and better grades.
Amama_fml 30
Everyone has different methods. I, for one, cannot sit down and study for hours, I just can't. She probably has great memory and just reviews a bit on her free time.
olis64 6
Keep with the studying. It may no seem like it now but it will pay off in the future!
moron1235 4
The story of my life right there
Hellbound_Alleee 14
You'll blink your eyes and suddenly you'll both be in your 40's. Look her up, and you'll learn that being envious of other people hurts only you.
octopussperm125 18
Then you're doin it wrong!!!!!
darkmis1 18
That sucks OP. I smoke weed all the time, skip class, play my 360, and still make the deans list. I do spend a lot of time studying though. I just never sleep. Don't worry - you'll come out on top in the end. She'll crash and burn.
withered 30
Her roomate will crash and burn? Why? Because of her good grades? What is wrong with people, wishing bad things to others just because they are better than you? How about you try to be happy for others?
asherm 15
It'll all catch up with her someday. Some of us just have to work harder, but payoff is slower.