Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
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Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
Sputnikspak 13
Metabolism often catches up with women around college-age. Mine hit me early (sixteen), whereas my brother (currently 24) can swill beer, eat an entire package of Oreos before downing McDonalds for dinner and still look thin as a rail. Grades aren't everything. Unless you're going to another school, the only thing an employer wants is your diploma. 'What do they call the person who graduates last in med school?' 'Doctor.' My college screwed me royally, I applied for a semester's leave to take care of my mother, who had cancer, but the registrar lost my paperwork, no one told me this, and I ended up with four 'zeros' on my permanent record. That can't be erased. Even though it was their screwup and brought down my grade average substantially. Thankfully, all employers look at is my portfolio. :)
dwc2134 5
As the child of a Doctor and having met several of these "What do they call the person who graduated last in med school?" Doctors... I'll have someone who made halfway decent grades, thanks. Grades aren't everything, and decidedly not for someone with circumstances like yours... but they exist for a reason.
UsernameHere234 13
^ Agreed. And besides OP basically just described either an engineer, vet, doctor, agriculture as well as tonnes of other stereotypically partying university/college students and I think we can nearly all agree those people live pretty damn good lives.
Old_Iron_Sides 6
Just draw a mustache and penises all over her face in sharpie while she's passed out, then we'll see who's better looking.... :P
Onmyzephyr 5
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Satoaoi 13
Your time will come. You will out do him in everything you'll see.
HannahLouise96 13
Don't worry, her bad habits will come back to bite her in the arse one day, and all your hard work will pay off.
charvisioku 22
Bad habits? Not everyone has to stay in and study constantly to do well. OP's room mate might be naturally good at picking things up - for all you know she might have a photographic memory. I know people who don't need to study much (and in one case not at all - he remembers everything he's told without having to go back to it) in order to do well; if you don't need to stay in studying constantly, why do it?
HannahLouise96 13
I don't know about you, but I'd consider coming home drunk and eating 3 Big Macs 'almost every night' pretty bad. If they'd only done it a couple of times I'd of told OP to lighten up, but 'almost every night'? Not good.
WrongRomance 11
Unfortunately, 64, I really doubt not studying is what the comment was referring to as bad habits. You just assumed. I would say the bad habits mentioned would be the excessive drinking and consumption of McDonald's.
shabbydoooo 8
Keep your head up Op and don't forget what goes around comes back around. Do what you keep doing and you will succeed one day.
Weeone13 5
First and foremost: big macs are gross. She needs to get better taste in food, so don't envy her there. Even if she don't gain a pound....yet. But seriously OP, why are you even wasting your time envying someone like that? I think the main issue here is that people need to stop comparing themselves to everyone around them. You are not her, and you never will be. Just be happy with who you are and be proud of yourself for being such a committed, hard working individual. And be grateful, because there are far worse things in life.
False_Stupidity 42
Don't be jealous, jealousy is like a cancer it takes over you quick.
BracJones214 3
Karma will soon come to huant your roommate. You may tell them this when they work a crap, low-pay job when they are 40.
UsernameHere234 13
You do realize OP described a very typical university engineer, vet, doctor, as well as many more well respected, high(est) paying jobs/professions right?
etchsanity1 11
Or lawyer I have quite a few friends who were like that in law school
UsernameHere234 13
Ya I've heard some law stories but I wasn't sure how often they happened lol.
withered 30
Karma will haunt her roomate? For what? Being skinny and having good grades? For making other people envious because she is doing well?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Some people are just like that or cope better with that kind of lifestyle. Anyways don't stress on how she lives, worry about yourself.