Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
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Top comments
xkaokaox 0
It's okay... food can't get you preggers.
rrjr010 0
She just called herself a ****, your life is fine.
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Comments (149)
JFox 8
You're better off.
alexomAnexo 0
I'm a guy so I'd rather have chips in my bed than another guy........
rwac07 0
she's a *****
rightonlooser 0
she IS a *****
Shootermtd25 7
maybe it's her boyfriend
anonymous100000 17
why fyl? because you're not a ***** and won't contract an std unlike your roommate? seriously..
Emma Marshall 19
She's not a ***** for having a sex life. Just like guys are always sleeping around, women can do it too! But food is better 🤷🏽♀️
driscoll1985 0
Any bird could wake up with a boy in her bed. Its not difficult!!! I have woken up with food in my bed numerous occassions. One time it even looked liked I had an egg fight with myself and lost. At least you wont be nicknamed the slag of the two of you!!!
Shadow_Sniper 0
#2 is right its not really very impressive when a girl gets a different guy in her bed every other night...it is if a guy does it, though
WTSchool 0
If a guy gets another guy in his bed every night, that's impressive?
xkaokaox 0
It's okay... food can't get you preggers.
rawrcatx 0
Food baby?
Star928 7
It can make you LOOK like you're preggers.
24788 7
What's wrong with waking up with food in your bed? You don't have to get up and walk to the fridge the next morning.
krazygirl100 9
ya it sounds awsome
rrjr010 0
She just called herself a ****, your life is fine.
redbluegreen 41
#3 - She could always have a food baby. And yeah, anyone can wake up with someone in their bed. She's calling herself the ****, it doesn't make her any more special. Wait till you get a call that she's got herpes.
SweetestSin 4
I just LOL'd so hard! Hey at least you won't be the one ending up with an STD after a wild night of drinking :-)
TRayT 0
So I'm guess you haven't had the new herpes flavored Pringles #7?
the_holy_one 0
hahaha what a sl*t
Hadley_fml 0
Not really an FML. Guess which one of you is more likely to still be clean?