Doritos
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML
Top comments
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Get revenge. **** in his milk.
DarkHelmet 10
that deserves an ass whoopin!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (277)
Salaminizer 0
Now you need to one-up him. Come out of the bathroom with his playboy and a 'used' bag of his doritos (or other food item of your choosing.) Then 'accidentally' light his playboy on fire. You win.
Salaminizer 0
Better yet, 'use' his playboy. Make an effort to see that all the pages get stuck together. Even more win for you.
scubadiver8888 0
26 win
akagron 0
Get stuck together with what, exactly...? Anyone, anyone?
Kristen_Nichole 0
****! Ahaha, sorry, I just had to...
Siva283 0
Wow your fat and nasty #176. I guess thats why your in the sex section of FML so much cause no one would touch you with someone elses dick. GO ON A DIET FATASS
Ericka5050 5
You are amazing! I need you to think up all my revenge schemes for me!
Ericka5050 5
If you don't know what they'd be stuck with you need to find a new, more age appropriate FML to read
scubadiver8888 0
yea I'd get new roommate I own my own house so I'd kick his ass to the curb and get few hot girl roommates
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ha! Just make sure you lock up your electric toothbrush.
tencentsakiss 19
hahahahaha wasn't there an fml where the op said that they heard their sister using a vibrator, then saw the sister leaving their room with the op's electric toothbrush?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yup, that was the reference! I think there might've been another similar one too, with a roommate instead of a sister.
tfghost92 0
now IF he was masturbating, why would he use a condom? he afraid hes gonna get his hand pregant?FYL dude, seriously
tencentsakiss 19
Hey! HAND PREGNANCY IS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER hahaha
TaylorTotsYumm 10
No, his hand will impregnate him. It is actually quite common.
FooFighterXC 0
Dangg, next time hide all of his socks and condoms. It doesn't really sound like he needs the condoms anyway.
skyking_21 2
#2 your picture is lol. I hope that's not you. LOL
perdix 31
Doritos? Sour cream and testicles flavor, perhaps? Who masturbates to Playboy anymore? You have to be an idiot to spank the money by spending a fortune looking at a few boringly tasteful pics of air-brushed women when there's plenty of hardcore filth on the Internet for FREE!
Primus_fml 0
Maybe all the ads of "grow your penis" turn him off. Then again, mags are even worse for ads than the internet.
purplemnm 9
perdix, I do not find playboy photos to be tasteful at all, but they aren't as inappropriate as Internet ****. and OP, you should be able to rest in peace knowing that your father doesn't jerk it to your Delias magazines!!!!
DanielleTheOne 3
128, what do u mean 'not as inappropriate'?? its ****!!! since when does port have to be appropriate? and apropriate for what? for getting off? im sorry but i just found that to be a weird thing to say :S
nintendomagic1 0
#32's got a point. God i hope u didnt eat those doritos but if u did hell at least u got some dip, for free too
i_wuz_nver_here 31
just ewwwww
tacosrock 0
ok. nasty
killerbee54 0
that's great XD well, yeah, your roomate doesn't seem to have the best of manners, but this is a good story to tell later on (in front of him). lol. word of advice, don't eat from that Doritoes bag. mark it, just so you know. lol