Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML
Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I turned down a chance to go to a bar with a girl I like because I have an autoimmune disorder and don't want to get sick because of being irresponsible and obviously COVID 19. FML
Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
uns211 0
how the **** do these fmls even get accepted :/
XR6Falcon 0
but you are desperate and why would you care what a dirty stripper thinks of you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
killpro 0
first I have no balls
deathmarch 0
Yeah, you're a pussy. YDI, mate. Get a life.
elvgar 0
no not a life get a girlfriend
im2good25 0
no not a girlfriend get ****
Averizzle 0
no not **** get pocket pussy
theian01 3
No not pocket pussy. Some "hand" lotion.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
hahaha!!! ahhhh these comments are great. i don't think fml would be anything w/o the comments.
tweetbaby14 18
dude really you're afraid of the strippers judging you because you go there a lot? just letting you know they already are judging you for being there in the first place...
cartermc17 0
hahahahah true
_swimcutie_ 0
First of all, u need to get a life. Second of all, u need to get a girlfriend. Period.
jason2468 0
no by hand lotion get laid. end of story.
bleedinginside 0
no not hand lotion get foot lotion
reyemrein 0
Wow the OP is an asshole. He didn't go to that charity event to help girls pay their way through community college. YDI for not donating to people in need.
cherrypieguy 0
dammit killpro you just made sirin kill 10 babies!
FoxhoundEP3 0
@26 , u ****** up the comment chain reaction bitch !
ringmybell_fml 0
@55 rofl
beansoup 0
#57 WTF r u like the pope or something charity is not all you should do with your money
punkman999 0
get a flesh light bitch
ILoveMyXbox 0
haha yeah that's an older pornhub ad
thecool444 0
second and lol
babybubz 0
#1 and 2 ..you're both LAME.. and so is OP.
fisheatsbear 6
your just jealous #4
nmsm 1
Yeah. What's wrong with saying first if you're first. As long a you say something relate to the post, it's ok. I hate when people say no one cares because everyone does. That's why people reply to the first comment, not replying to the comment, but for their comment to be seen.
babybubz 0
I did reply to their comment(s) ..and I didn't say no one cares.. people obviously do ..because clearly you'd wet yourself if you got the chance to say FIRST.. I just think it's lame ..and I'm entitled to give my opinion. KTHNX
SmellDaPurp 0
idk who is more pathetic.. #1
cherrypieguy 0
nmsm everyone knows when you shout first! sirin kills 10 babies
fml98kevin 4
idiot
uns211 0
how the **** do these fmls even get accepted :/
XR6Falcon 0
but you are desperate and why would you care what a dirty stripper thinks of you?
RustyGuns 0
You only have one strip club? Are you Amish or sommat?
fisheatsbear 6
well there are some towns where there is only one strip club. heck maybe none at all. weird I know
RustyGuns 0
Srsly? What do the single moms do for work?
madaoxsan 9
seriously funny.
EllyH 0
Do you REALLY think the strippers care at all? Seriusly...
Jen_J_the_J 0
do u reli think the strippers would even remember a sorry ass like u?
ringmybell_fml 0
because strippers aren't desperate at all...
Vintage_Cola 29
On a very technical level, they aren't. Pole/exotic dancing is considered to be a very difficult art that probably takes quite some time to master. Although if it's just stripping, then no: that's desperate.
srwalker155210 0
Because noone who is desperate ever oes to a strip club.... The part where OP fails is that he actually cares what the strippers think of him - like he has a chance with one if them.
jimboy 0
lol #11
aDropOfSunshine 2
Hey for them it's another day at the "office"... If you're paying, and you're not the creepiest ************ in there, they don't really care how desperate you are... Actually, they probably consider desperation directly proportional to the money they take home.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
^ haha this