Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later, his Twitter account said otherwise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML
Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to cancel plans to go to the movies with the guy I've had a crush on for months due to a sudden case of the flu. This was already rescheduled from yesterday, when I had to cancel due to bad weather (after he had already left home). He thinks that I'm just making excuses not to see him. FML
Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
So...your life is effed because you didn't go on a date with a liar? Am I missing something?
yarbles 3
oh well he was a dick to begin with. be glad you found out now.
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Comments (149)
suppressed08 2
never use Twitter, any good?
suppressed08 2
used*
yarbles 3
its ok
BuddyChristSays 0
he lied before the first date not a good sign so **** him
melsaraj 9
u g l y.. you ain't got no alluby you ugly
samanthadude 0
1 - Twitter is pretty much a facebook status :P OP - There's plenty of fish in the sea, go get yourself another 1st date :)
GiRIsMakingCupca 0
yeaa, u ugly you... ugly?:)no ones feeling me(ewww tht sounds wronqq;)]
Oreosbff 0
#17 - spelled alibi..and I bet the guy is just a jerk :/
nyrangers1022 6
33, u make it seem all guys are assholes and all girls are angels. girls are just as bad as guys by being bitchy and cheating
gloogle 0
actually 19 there was an oil spill so there's not anymore fish
littlemissdqgirl 8
That's life sweetheart
lololol32 0
At least he won't be... **Puts on sunglasses** ...Twittering in your twat. YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
LoVesg12 0
hahaha^ and that sucks don't bother with him, op
katTKD 0
op, don't waste any more time on him. and if he wants to reschedule it, wait til 1hr before it and tell him your sick lol
rachellelt695 0
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder! ""So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, ""Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? "" ""Ma'am,"" the officer replies, ""You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. "" ""Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour! "" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that ""22"" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. ""But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time,"" the officer asks. ""Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142. """
BuddyChristSays 0
WIN
BuddyChristSays 0
WIN to #28 I mean
dan13mey 0
aw don't feel bad OP. he uses Twitter, so he's apparently gay.
JupiterIcicle 1
why is Twitter gay?
youwishyouwereha 0
#44 BAHHAHAHA!
Dragons_corner 6
38 you never met me then but of course you have not anyway I'am true to my words unless something comes up then I will either try and do it earlyer if that's not good then I let you choose. all my friend trust me saddly most of them trust me more then their own best friend.
JupiterIcicle 1
Twitter really helps my fans follow my band. it's an amazing invention
Dragons_corner 6
sweet a bitch mood lol jk obese just pointing out that not all are like that both genders do it but who ever stood you (and op) needs to have their car tired slash and shaving cream all over the car In a messed up patteren ( well that is if the shaving cream still works on cars).
Dragons_corner 6
why the hell did my ipod put obese. I ment I was just saying.
Re4mstr 0
i'll just laugh.
NatDancer2010 0
eww stop stalking him. just saying. have you seen the movie, He's just not into you?
mase321 2
u r hot
Lexiegirlxx 4
ahhh social networking rips apart another relationship
cbr600_fml 0
everybody lies and cheats that's the society we live in now a days
triggerit 5
you mean every date with new guy is a first date?
meeeks 0
OP.....stalk much??
BabyGirl789 0
LMAO. I love you :D Youre funnnnnny.
raymel 5
tweeter is trash anyways. count your blessings OP
aprilsapples 0
well at least your getting rid of a not so smart person like him i mean if hes going to do something behind your back then he shouldnt twitter it where you can find out (sorry i dont like to swear "not so smart person")
xLeftoverxCrackx 0
lol stalker
CronosDage 0
44 win
M4V3R1CKR13 0
49 = win
eshhayz 0
#21 with a face like that i'm sure noone will ever be "feeling you"
BuddyChristSays 0
I mean 44
JulzKay 0
#15, I think ******* him would be a poor idea. =P
Ldunny 0
your a lez ?
Ldunny 0
hahaha
incredibadder 0
lol ******* twat lol it's ******* Twitter and this date of yours obviously doesn't give a **** lol
itsJerryTime 0
u meet them at the wrong places
krushr 3
So...your life is effed because you didn't go on a date with a liar? Am I missing something?
BlargHonk 0
The point is that he was too much of a coward to say he didn't want to go out with her for whatever reason, so he lied. If he won't show up for a first date, it's also obvious he doesn't respect her.
MrCalves 1
ydi for using Twitter
PimpdaddyCJT 13
I did that once haha
SilenNex 0
lol, twitter is stupid
lovelove24 1
never said she used it just that he did
MrCalves 1
If she is on Twitter, she is using it
ashlyn5276 0
ydi for Twitter following/stalking him when you hadn't even gone on a date with him:P
fat_snooki_lol 6
Yep, I agree. not even one date and you're stalking the poor guy on twitter. Typical Queenslander.
spovich_fml 0
gay
RyanZhang22 1
just be glad. he is obviously a metrosexual. he uses Twitter. and lied.
ohgodwtf 0
Twitter? YDI then.
yarbles 3
oh well he was a dick to begin with. be glad you found out now.
BethiiGeex 0
Lol, that sucks Dx You're better off without him </3
Darko21 5
Could your goods be hanging out anymore? Just saying.
BuddyChristSays 0
I think they should be hanging out more and goods?? WTF how old r u this chick is ******* hot
teebone621 0
ydi for obviously not being good looking
BethiiGeex 0
why did you reply to me |:
SaturnE_fml 0
Because in the womb the menu options were: 1. Ugly 2. Average 3. Appealing to the guy who would otherwise stand you upin 2010 4. STFU
BethiiGeex 0
wait nvm, ignore that :3
greggiee 0
18 is gorgeousss
BethiiGeex 0
trust me she's not (; you're gorgeous 22
greggiee 0
<3
mase321 2
because your hot
SaturnE_fml 0
He's new, the thought of being so close to a girl made him nervous, and his butterflies raged. Then, just to prove to his good friends he wasn't a loser, he invented a social life.
dunni786 0
Niceee
latinaqueen12 0
aww you will meet someone that is even nicer