Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Supernumerary breasts are very common. It's nothing to worry about. Maybe you can even get a job as a prostitute on Mars!
xlord 27
Sometimes I wonder if I'm reading the same FML as some of these commenters....
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Comments (137)
ieatpikmin 0
I'd still do that.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
OP is a ******.
MonsterCommenter 4
This comment is irrelevant. Please, crawl into a hole and die.
MissMae93 23
21 - Seriously? Go die. I know you're trying to make yourself sound "cool" and all, but using a homophobic slur isn't going to do that for you.
nado13579 12
Can someone tell me what 21's comment was about, please? I missed it.
HowAreYouToday 34
1,2,4,5,6,8, and 9 are all thumbed down... It is a thumbadeggon!
nelds 12
31, I'm not sure what 21 said but don't ever tell people to go die, you heartless arse.
MissMae93 23
44 - Heartless? Right, because standing up for the LGBTTQ community is heartless. Secondly - I've had friends die because of the word. If you don't know what happened, why comment?
gc327072 31
31, you have no right to speak to 56 that way... She's way hotter than you, anyway.
MonsterCommenter 4
Everybody here thats debating and wondering, 21's comment called the OP a homophobic slur. His comment was posted one minute before my original one, so i know exactly what he said, but I can't tell you for fear of being moderated):
ieatpikmin 0
You're all fags.
mattwin88 4
better watch what you say OP
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah , gotta be careful what you wish for
Dblocker 18
I could swear I've seen an FML almost exactly like this.
Oceanlondon 5
I'm sure your boyfriend won't mind…
xlord 27
Sometimes I wonder if I'm reading the same FML as some of these commenters....
MDTeddy 13
I wanna know if you can feel pleasure from it the same way as the other 2.
tressie_fml 6
I would actually be turned off by an arm third nipple.
TacoTheGlorious 6
Got one too, just say it's a spider bite(:
xlord 27
Why would anyone be looking under OP's arm for her to have to say "it's a spider bite"?
UsernameHere234 13
Perhaps a sexual partner.
iliketomoveit123 10
That's a weird place for a breast... -.-
NashyzzleTheN 10
Sorry 6, I was commenting on another comment but I think it got deleted in the process of writing:/
beefstew_54 3
im gonna go ahead and call fakesies, i just saw an fml very much like this one in the random section the other day
NashyzzleTheN 10
No, it's actually really common. My cousin has a third boob on her back.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Don't tell anybody else, they might call you triple nipple!
unknown_user5566 27
It's a little late for OP to refrain from mentioning it to anyone else, don't ya think?
BananEnigma 24
Pretty sure #8 meant in person.
kittykat1501 31
There are no nipples on extra breasts
sjdbeinska 4
...is he sure it's not cancer?
acidkitten 14
well if he can't tell the difference then he's a damn useless doctor
acidkitten 14
or she.
DracoSpirita 21
Ah, those useless doctors. One once told me I had swine flu when I just had a UTI.
All_I_Need 4
Well, I got told I had depression when I had a sinusitis. Always a good idea to check what your doctor says...
DocBastard 40
I've mistaken a harmless lump for cancer and vice versa. It's impossible to tell based on how it feels.
Isoldael 27
And that's why doctors never base diagnoses like that by just an external examination, but will always do a biopsy :)
happylawyer 16
That, and because of heartless, insensitive, money driven lawyers
MrElephant 5
Be careful what you wish for.
Feared 9
...Punk." ~Clint Eastwood
ninjadinos 14
Because you just might get it.
StayClassyLassy 6
~Eminem :)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Congrats on being the first non-thumbed down comment on this whole thread.
onlychildFTW 34
This is the first comment not to be thumbed down like 40 times. Wow. congrats man. Anyways, people always say be careful what you wish for.
cheshireau 26
Or beggars can't be choosers?