Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?
SkoomaKi 28
I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.
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Comments (181)
vbmg152 19
Y.D.I. Who do you think you are?
1998magicman 0
You monster!!!!!!!!!
Stormdriven37 6
That's all? I would have murdered you for taking the last chocolate egg.
I'madumbass 19
The last three people in this comment section (yes, including the one I am replying to) take chocolate too seriously. Yes, I am a chocolate lover. Yes, I would also be annoyed, but no, I am not a chocolate-loving psychopath who will kick their kid out if they ate the last chocolate. Get some sense
greenmen 12
Lol! Whatever they say or not your future is in their good hands.
samanthamordecai 9
Hell yeah Washingtonians represent.
jazminadaire 2
I'm sorry but that's pretty funny
RoadKill67a 4
Look at the bright side, you can prove them wrong!
yourmurderscenex 13
go buy them a bunch and tell them you bought with your drug money.
16meghan 6
Omg.! Happens all the time to me!! XD
chosha_fml 27
Well I guess you saved someone else from a life of crime and homelessness, seeing as SOMEBODY had to take the last one. /eye roll/ your parents are ridiculous.