Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML
Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, at least you know you don't suffer a genetic predisposition to be like her.
spinningrecords 14
She is a parent with a lot of hate. I don’t know how old you are but you don’t need that in your life.
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Comments (8)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, at least you know you don't suffer a genetic predisposition to be like her.
RichardPencil 32
What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Evidently, "adopt a child" is one answer.
hobbestherost666 3
She sounds hangary
spinningrecords 14
She is a parent with a lot of hate. I don’t know how old you are but you don’t need that in your life.
Jonkbaby 23
Dessert does some weird things to people. I am certain she did not mean that. Sorry about that OP
Imac 3
If she had the power too rewind it’s over for u
protoskore 27
obviously you've never seen the fraggle rock episode called "the grapes of generosity" but seriously, the woman has issues. be thankful you're not actually related.