Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?
SkoomaKi 28
I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.
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Comments (181)
ElricMustang 23
Lol I'd rather not look for it xD
Igor_g5 0
That's how it starts.
xCramsie97 0
That's some serious shit.. Taking the last egg..
sincerelyjay 13
WHAT?! The last Easter egg?! How dare you!
ankoku 2
Does anyone else picture the Op's parents as massively fat and disgusting?
kellyXbeanz 3
well u just can't take the last chocolate egg that is completely wrong !!!!!! lol
toalysium 15
I don't really care about your life, but you did remind me there is a Cadbury egg in the fridge. Maybe you aren't completely useless!
greenmen 12
Well better get stared sell there ugly asses off
THExistentialist 13
we are all created in Perdix's image, therefore, all thoughts we think are due to His power.
Nikkitaria 9
Watch out we got a badass over here!