Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?
SkoomaKi 28
I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.
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Comments (181)
SkoomaKi 28
I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.
IOmnomHard 10
Taking the last of anything is means for war. Especially when it's chocolate.
domking1315 20
I love the name OP!!
Cad6 24
OP, you should've held up the egg, and Snickered in their face. All this just because you took a chocolate egg? You should eat it in front of them and watch them Twixt in pain. If you don't want to eat it now, you Cadbury it in the ground to make sure they don't find it.
xoconnie 8
if only you didnt take that last egg :/
CapnAwesome 11
YOU DID WHAT?
xoconnie 8
if only you didnt take that last egg :/
Jakesterk96 8
Mom-"Hey sweetie, did you take the last chocolate egg?" OP-"Yea, why?" Mom-"Oh nothing, it's just that the last chocolate egg was for me so you stole it which will lead you to steal more things from me like money where we would have to kick you out of the house into the streets which would lead you to stealing from people and stores making you a criminal which would lead you to buy drugs to cope with your failure in life. But it's no biggie."
blackheart24 10
It's true.. A couple years ago I stole the last chocolate egg. Never did I think it would lead me to where I am today: I live on the street and drink, steal, fight, do drugs, all because of that damn chocolate egg... WHY?! Why did I take that egg!?! My life is ruined!! D:
Nerdfightersrule 11
well, that is very punny, but anybunny can make one like that.
lavitaebella_fml 0
60: Write an FML about it.
SkoomaKi 28
75 - But my dear child, that would be copying this FML so I don't think he can.
Jakesterk96 8
32- HE ATE THE LAST CHOCOLATE EGG. Man, I heard of people hard at hearing but hard at reading?
blackheart24 10
75- I'm sorry to confuse you darling, but I was joking... My life didn't actually fall apart after I ate the last chocolate egg, although it probably happens to people all the time.
PeachesnCream88 0
Exxagerative much? :P my family does that all the time.. :|
lavitaebella_fml 0
I was being sarcastic, lol.
blackheart24 10
Don't worry I wasn't tryin to be a dick. Although Im really glad u weren't serious cuz then I'd have to face palm. Thanks for clearing it up ;)
xFluttershy 7
Jesus would have never approved of Easter. Giving is just not in the spirit of being a Jew
iMuffinKat 16
OP, my parents have acted like that don't worry. Once I corrected my mom when we were watching the movie, "Scream" when she thought the murderer was a good guy. She then screamed at me and told me that I'd probably turn out like that murderer if I don't listen to what she says. Yup.
TaylorLynn462 10
Damn crazy parents.
LouisianaBob 9
This post doesn't sound like there could be any context not disclosed in the post. /sarcasm off
babe7260 30
No freaking shit
whennotlooking 0
OP's parents aren't crazy... I take my chocolate pretty seriously too. I'm hardcore MLG chocolate eater.
wierdos_rule 0
Today, all I needed was just one last delicious chocolate egg. My daughter ate it. FML
cradle6 13
Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?
lukep135 6
Yes along with a shot of hersheys, rolling an almond joy, and my personal favorite a random assortment of skittles
cradle6 13
Don't forget the ever-popular 'smoking smarties.'
Helenarth 6
Eggs made of chocolate. What else would we be calling them?
lukep135 6
I feel terrible that i did. But where i come from they're crushed and snorted
browncurls12 8
Loll. Guys.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Loll. You.
craZgal321 6
this comment reminds me of the mr. bean "if you know what i mean" memes
KiddNYC1O 22
Lmao 56.
ClassyCommando 13
44 - Comments like yours are the reason my teeth are slowly grinding down to nubs.
ThatDamnPaladin 10
And who could forget that phase where kids tried to snort pixie sticks. They just do the darndest things!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Shit, and for the longest time I wondered why people gave me such dirty looks when I said I'm completely addicted to popping starbursts.
siickman 7
Lol mentally scarred for life ... I would be...
smileypoop 2
Thanks yoda
domking1315 20
Ummm why are you talking like yoda?
MrBrightside21 20
Umm...Why are you talking like a copy cat who wants to be thumbed up?
siickman 7
My comment was suppose to go on the next FML .. I misclicked ... And i wasnt talking like yoda... I was saying the person is now mentally scarred.. And then i stated that i would be ....
LightningCactus 12
Which in turn made a sentence in the form that yoda uses.
domking1315 20
How was i copying?? I thought I was missing something. He made a joke. I asked a question. Simple as thought. Sorry...
MrBrightside21 20
Forgiven. But only because this is an Easter FML...
fishisacat 2
YEAH! I'm first! I don't care if people hate, they're a bunch of losers, but I'M SOOOO GREAT!!!!
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
Nice try.
Parazad 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Listen to your parents. They're telling you some eggcellent stuff.
Nerdfightersrule 11
Wonderful pun. But that's been used before by just about everybunny.
emmagillespie24 11
CORNY JOKE ALERT
buck33 14
Did you say corny joke? Sorry I'm not sure if I can "ear" you correctly
roberto272 0
Boooooooooo
Rommel1942 9
Are you sure it was chocolate and that it the last "Golden Egg"? >_> parents may know things you don't =O!
ALpein 0
... the hell.
jillianmathers12 13
Lol. That's so funny! Everything is on sale now so buy them a new one
THExistentialist 13
Jillian? My name is Lillian. I knew a Gillian once, but don't you find our "-illian" names few and far between?
rbubbles 20
87. You're ******
ladyLALAA 29
I bought so much half priced Easter chocolate today I am embarrassed. But, it's half price!!
ThisIsMyReign 4
Well, you did take the last chocolate egg.
Mauskau 36
Maybe they thought you stole it. Stealing can lead to it.