Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Dress to impress
Today, it's my 23rd birthday. My family - parents, siblings, and two cousins - asked to visit to help me celebrate. I agreed and spent some time cleaning my place up some. The catch: I relaxed a bit and did it while nude. It felt so nice, I forgot I was nude, so when they came at noon… well, it wasn't the birthday suit I'd hoped they'd see. FML
America! F*** yeah!
Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML
Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
This is my nightmare but hey it's not like they don't know what your body looks like.
aliyourpally 12
I bet your sheets smell like ass.
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Comments (154)
grumpybr 13
Ewww!!! Lol
Blackcatluck 19
I never get comments like these, by saying "ewww" or "gross" you're implying that you dislike something but then you confuse me by adding the "LOL" at the end.
Zimmington 21
I exited and came back just so I could thumb this down again.
grumpybr 13
Why? You don't think it is gross? Something can be gross and funny at the same time. This is really a case of not being able to understand what's written.
jeepers_1 21
I don't know why that is so "eww" it's just nudity
HiIAmKevin 8
Wonder what will happen when she sees a penis then.
Mossears133 15
27- Unless the person has some ducked up deformity, nudity isn't that gross. I bet you're nude under your clothes.
Pstraka6 20
That will teach them not to rudely wake in you in the morning!
Capt_Oblivious 10
You mean you used to sleep naked.
xXSherikaXx 11
How embarissing. At least there your parents and not exstended family or friends. Next time lock your door! C:
DDCA 24
OP could argue your grammatical skills are embarrassing. But I'm only defending OP because I sleep naked, too.
Zebediabolical 45
The grammar is fine. It's the spelling that's terrible.
SMHsohard 22
I'm amazed at the lack of respect for personal privacy from both parents and children in so many of these stories. What happened to knocking, and then waiting until the person on the other side either says "Come in", or actually opens the door?
Thorzix 23
It died years ago.
SMHsohard 22
And that is a damn shame.
starflyer59 17
kinda hard to surprise someone if you knock first.
SMHsohard 22
Well, they could knock, wait for him to say "Come in", and then yell "Surprise! Happy Birthday!"
anythingmustbe 18
Thank your lucky stars that you are not a male.
anythingmustbe 18
Glad someone got it.
doodlecloud 27
But on the other hand, a guy would only have to hide his crotch to save his modesty. A girl has three things to hide - much higher chance of something being seen. Think I'd rather be a guy in that situation, morning wood or not.
Thorzix 23
@59 That's because you don't know how embarassing a morning wood is...or how embarassing a wood is period
doodlecloud 27
FYI, unless you're really flat it's very difficult to quickly and effectively cover two boobs with one arm. Of course, I can't accurately compare to the difficulty of covering a boner... however, I don't think using two hands would make it worse by drawing attention to it? Because it's not like you're only covering it because it's a boner, you'd be covering it either way.
kemic 7
#74, #68 was referring to it getting more awkward if you grab onto your morning wood with both hands, especially if your parents are looking at you.
doodlecloud 27
Yes, I get that...what I'm saying is, if they see it then it will be awkward either way. However, IF you somehow managed to SUCCESSFULLY cover it in time then there's no reason it would be extra awkward as you wouldn't be able to tell it's a boner just by the fact that you were using two hands. I think most people would instinctively cover with both hands. You could argue that they could guess from the way you cover it but I think it is unlikely and even then, that is a question of technique (grabbing it like you're wanking which I think 68 was thinking about versus covering the whole crotch area, hands on balls and forearms on boner that I was thinking of) rather then whether using both hands in itself would give it away. Does that make sense now?
emilyjgraham 34
81, not really. I can sort of see where you're coming from but at the same time it's quite obvious from hand positioning if morning wood is present. For instance, if no morning wood is present a male would cup his two hands together for full coverage but to cover morning wood it would probably be a whole hand for balls and the other for the penis! Plus, if you go along with the idea that all erect penis' go at a ninety degree angle it'll be fairly difficult to cover it even with two hands.
doodlecloud 27
81 - Well that makes sense. I wasn't trying to be a jerk or anything, was just trying to explain myself. I can see your point though. Thank you for providing a reasonable argument. Sorry 68 if that's what you were saying and I got it wrong...hopefully you get my point as well though, even if now somewhat debunked.
doodlecloud 27
Ugh, I meant 100, not 81. Definitely my bedtime now. But FreshPie, don't think about it too much. I enjoyed our discussion. It was...interesting to say the least.
ScotsLassie 6
I'm a girl and i sleep naked. I think it is so much worse for a dad to see his daughter naked. I don't really think a mum would care either way and I don't think a dad would care about seeing his son naked.
delaneyluke 5
Did they rush out in a hairy or did they make a smooth getaway ?
NoDontKillMe 19
In a hairy what?
missathegirlwond 19
Nothing they haven't seen before. You were already dressed for the occasion!
monagro 22
So what's the issue?
MDTeddy 13
Why sleep naked? I thought people only do that if they were horny that night.
Zebediabolical 45
I sleep naked too. In fact I haven't worn underwear since 2007. Except when I got that personal piercing and needed to wear a sanitary napkin in order to catch the blood.
doodlecloud 27
29 - Sleeping naked is pretty common, especially if it's hot. Sometimes if it's cold I wear a large t-shirt but I normally just sleep naked. Haven't worn pyjamas in years - they're so constricting, especially if you're someone who rolls around a lot in your sleep.
theycallmekitty 13
I sleep naked too. It's actually healthy for you. Let's everything breath.
DDCA 24
You're obviously still sleeping in your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sheets if you have to ask why people sleep naked.
emilyjgraham 34
Aren't you horny every night, 29??!!
lexxiii 17
I can see this now... "HAPPY BIRTHD- ...never mind."