Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML
Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WithaKay 4
Why would you want your parents to think you'd been sleeping with some man they'd never met?
Freeze_fml 17
You could alternatively get a man.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
Prolusive 5
Unless your parents really want grandchildren, I doubt they would mind :)
enonymous 9
I'm going to go out on a limb to say that either the mother or the father is going to want to be a grandparent. I'm planning my baby like the movie Junior
Keyman1212 14
Who needs the responsibility of a newborn, right?!
Sebastian_NG 17
Hey at least you haven't been single since you moved out of your mother's womb, now that would be an FML
Freeze_fml 17
You could alternatively get a man.
slushpup9696 12
Then what would she do with the boxers and cologne?! I sense the arrival of the world's saddest love triangle.
punkin_26 16
Wow 3, you ruffled a few feathers with that comment ;) Something tells me 27 may have some pushy parents too.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
How can I creep FML if all the comments keep disappearing?!
Cappiej 18
Don't worry, just wait for the love of your life :) You'll find a husband, don't worry
ikickgingers 15
I do not concur. Why would you say that to anybody? Wait around all your life for a husband and collect cats be that lady!! Wtf If you want something you do sit around and wait for it to fall in your lap. Life does not work like that. Not everyone wants to have 2.5 kids, and live in the suburbs. This is not reality.
ikickgingers 15
Yessun I cannot edit. Thank you (:
jizzwold 21
I don't like unrealistic optimism.
ikickgingers 15
Mmmm brownie.
False_Stupidity 42
I don't think 3 meant to literally wait around doing nothing and hope Mr Right will walk by one day.. More like just be patient and don't rush into lust.
Cappiej 18
61 Exactly
rallets 23
"2.5 kids" the **** is that? half a kid? a little person? seems pretty morbid
WithaKay 4
Why would you want your parents to think you'd been sleeping with some man they'd never met?
arin2009 0
Well it just depends on how hard you try, you will get there mu friend
tsim_fml 0
Tell them that your "man" is serving in the military and is gone for a while.
Freeze_fml 17
Might as well say he's MIA.
Randuhh_17 4
That's the way to make papa proud!!..:')
philipino 24
•___________________________________•
philipino 24
Dammit my whale didn't come up right
Salkadi 9
Where do you live?
mk58 31
Are you trying to get in OP's pants?
tingway 4
there's no shame in being single man!
BeibertSmitor 10
To quote Sassy Gay Friend "DESPERATE! DESPERATE! I'M VERY DESPERATE!"
Daralea 21
I guess it is better than leaving around a bunch of her sex toys though.