Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
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Top comments
mds9986 24
I hope your username doesn't depict another event that occurred.
Thomas1605 13
Damn I hope you didn't hurt yourself while jumping out the bed!
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Comments (52)
Thomas1605 13
Damn I hope you didn't hurt yourself while jumping out the bed!
LilMissCanadian 22
Yeah, that cockroach was such a **** to him.
TH_Insomniak 15
can you not
LilMissCanadian 22
I'm sorry it was too tempting
Alg1do 6
Could always be worse.
mds9986 24
No, I don't think it can be. Bugs and spiders suck.
SecundusSecunda 27
I think it was worse. Not only was a roach trekking up his leg, OP's username says he shat himself. He could be joking, but chances are he isn't. lol
mikuxxhatsune 32
#16 Roaches are the almost invincible devil spawn of insects.
yenze 18
Ydi depends on if you screamed befor or after you saw that it was just a cockroach
proudsock 17
Um cockroaches are gross, I'm sure quite a few people would've had the same reaction..
TH_Insomniak 15
if you're like me and you work at a warehouse where packages from China come in, carrying cockroaches that can actually fly, you realize they're not gross after a while, its just an effect of them being totally different and unusual makes your mind hate them. get used to them, they're actually pretty cool
Ed_Fresco 6
I 100% feel you, cockroaches are so disgusting. Screaming like a girl is totally okay! See if you can get your dad to fumigate or something, cockroaches are really the worst.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
I never understood people's fears for cockroaches. They are just like beatles. They don't even bite.
earljonez 22
Actually cockroaches have been known to nibble on the hands and feet of people sleeping on boats
ArbiterOfFML 24
That at most helps take off dead skin.
mattzawesome 28
They are gross, I don't see an issue with screaming.
dahoss99 30
I would have done the same thing. FYL OP.
mds9986 24
I hope your username doesn't depict another event that occurred.
Steve089 9
Lol laughed so hard At this haha
bulletsinthewind 21
Hey, at least it wasn't a spider
gorgeous_vixen95 12
Wow, you should really get your dad to fumigate the house if u have roaches. They are a serious health hazard. I would've flipped out too!!!
gobiteme2 34
It must be nice you remember to shave your legs, otherwise you might not have felt it.
SecundusSecunda 27
I've never shaved my legs, but I think I would have decreased sensitivity on them without the hair Given that if one of my hairs is moved I can tell instantly that something is on my leg (I.e. A mosquito or some other random critter) I could be wrong though