Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML
Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML
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Top comments
WithaKay 4
Why would you want your parents to think you'd been sleeping with some man they'd never met?
Freeze_fml 17
You could alternatively get a man.
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Comments (89)
TacoSashimi 5
You don't need a beau to be happy.
dansco 25
Go out, get pissed and bring a bloke back... Try not to be picky lol
BloodyMary666 24
That´s a totally stupid thing to do! Emancipation fail.
punkin_26 16
That is almost as pathetic as the lady who excused herself when she walked in on her CAT using the restroom. In all honesty though I would trade my boyfriend for a cat any day. Just enjoy the time you have to yourself. It's priceless.
terrypercy 3
That's pathetic, if you want to be alone with a cat, dump your boyfriend and get a cat instead of whining about it on the interwebs, logic must have skipped your generation.
lifesuxalways12 0
U should have put a lube a ***** and 2 thongs on the couch and been like " o yah did i forget to tell u i like myself some noce juice pusssy"
lifesuxalways12 0
I ment to say nice
hellokitty46 1
uuuuhm, that's not going to convince them -.-
42billybob 5
I'm trying to picture the kind of parents who would WANT to find their daughter has been sleeping with someone she hasn't even mentioned to them yet.
charlotte100 2
So u want ur parents to think ure having a casual relationship With some random dude that they're clearly never going to meet? Um there's no shame im being single.
danbo659 0
so what if your single? enjoy your life. dont try the impress people
nateshannon1 4
if your fat they would most likely understand. if your ugly then its thier fault.