Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML
Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML
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Top comments
WithaKay 4
Why would you want your parents to think you'd been sleeping with some man they'd never met?
Freeze_fml 17
You could alternatively get a man.
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Comments (89)
Cinn_fml 23
Why bother? Even if they're the pushy kind of parents who reckon you need a man asap, just pretending you've got one (or have had) will probably just make them nag at you even more. Instead why not put the time into actually getting one?
ohSNAPyall 27
No offense, but finding a developing a good relationship probably takes more time than buying boxers and cologne.
DHoffmann 9
No shit
Cinn_fml 23
Well obviously, OhSNAPyall. But my point was that instead of wasting her time on things like this, why not do something about this "problem"? What she did might only take a few minutes, or whatever, but it's completely pointless.
SteveTheJanitor 6
Think of it this way; if you're in a relationship you can't really go out and mingle but if your single you are free and aren't held back by anyone and you can also have drunk sex with random people and not feel too bad about it
spicerack1528 3
Or with a liberal application of tequila you can have all of the above
pinkspaceboundro 0
Why would you waste money on that? Should have bought ***** instead! Then your parents would understand why you don't need one!
punkin_26 16
LOL! That is the best comment! But a ***** doesn't have to mean she doesn't get the real thing. It could mean that her sex life is a bit more adventurous.
Mirorbo 27
Darling, there is NOTHING wrong with being single. Enjoy the liberation and freedom! Don't ever let anyone pressure you into thinking you HAVE to find someone. What matters in life is you enjoying yourself, be it by your own power, or with another. It's entirely up to you. Not anyone else!
Mirorbo 27
Dear FML: Please fix your hiccups. My comment has gone missing. love from Mirorbo!~ EDIT: Nevermind, there it is. *bridgesqueeze*
Senior29 8
so basically, u want ur parents 2 be proud of ur sluttiness? that sounds messed up 2 me :/
Thanatos1206 0
Nice ****.
NoNotTheFace 8
What's wrong with being single? You can pee with the door open. Or even ********** in the dark with the door open. Just be careful though, you wouldn't want your step-dad to walk in and stare RIGHT at you.
69ing_Chipmunks 9
I think if her step dad walked in on her in her own house, she's got other problems than not having a man.
rattusrattus 19
She could be her step-dad's mistress, you know, just to mess up the family situation massively.
Tama_fml 13
how long have you been moved out and how old are you? It's not the worst thing in the world being single.
zombiekitten87 12
That's weird that you would go out of your way to make your parents believe that you're having premarital sex... Most parents wouldn't approve of it, let alone be upset if it weren't going on at all.
punkin_26 16
Unless her parents are like the Fockers. My mom, for example was okay with my having premarital sex. My father on the other hand thinks my son was the result of immaculate conception. This day in age parents are just kidding themselves if they think their children arent having sex before marriage.
zniltiaC 19
It would be awfully awkward if you had left the price tags on the boxers on.....