Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Is this one of those "my friend" things where this is all actually you?
ClassyCommando 13
I always make my teeth look nice for the sexy dentist...I guess that's almost the same thing.
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Comments (136)
joker72401 1
Wow, the doc doesn't want to become horny. He's just checking for abnormalities/pregnancy. Uh, Fyl OP.
pinkcrayola 0
Could be a girl doctor.
joker72401 1
Could be, but possibly lesbian??? What fun that would be!!
ClassyCommando 13
And how the **** do you know the doctor doesn't want to become horny?
ClassyCommando 13
And how the **** do you know the doctor doesn't want to become horny? EDIT: Sorry, my ******* iPod glitched
MissMae93 23
I'm confused, where does it say she was saying this to the doctor? I always thought waiting rooms were a completely different room than the examination room.
joker72401 1
Well, a boner in a gynocologyst office would be bad, mostly because there's something happening to all of those vaginas, such as pregnancy, aids, herpes, genital warts, etc. nobody wants that!! Well, then again, pregnant **** is the best...
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
Actually, 21, there are women who visit the gynecologist for routine check-ups, and not simply when there's a problem with their lady bits.
MissMae93 23
Actually, 21, women need a "special checkup" once a year to ensure everything is running smoothly. Just because someone's at the gynecologist doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. How old are you anyways? 14? Please educate yourself a wee bit more, I'm getting sick of your obnoxious, slightly perverted comments.
joker72401 1
I am 24 and I am a clerk at my local gynocologyst's office. Tyvm.
MissMae93 23
33 - Oh really? Well for starters, you spelt gynecologist wrong. Secondly, you should know then that women don't just go there because of abnormalities. Thirdly, you should know that waiting rooms and examination rooms are completely divided, so how would the doctor get horny from hearing this conversation? Sorry, but I don't believe you.
joker72401 1
Thanks for the spell-check bitch. Anyway. I meant that the freshly waxed and oiled ****** might turn him or her on.
Torva_fml 16
Feel free to just stop right there.
Phyre24 17
I have been scarred for life.
DocBastard 40
joker72401 - Please do me a favour and send me your CV so I know never to hire you to work in my office. I think I'd want my clerk to be able to spell my own specialty. Thanks.
jessecast91 0
OWNED!!!!! Great success doctor!
TheCaterpiller 6
I love arguments when the arguers get owned
commonlogicz42 6
Joker-I've met cats and dogs smarter than you.
osnapitzaris 0
what do you mean abnormalities? What other abnormalities can you have other than an std? (sorry, I have a physical on Friday and I'm really paranoid)
dbt88 15
82- cysts and other general uterine problems. Usually they're not a huge deal though.
KeyboardWarrior 10
When doc steps in its game over. Joker. Hole. Now.
MatheusRajuidas 5
Someone needs to get laid...
ClassyCommando 13
She already did...in a truck, passed out drunk.
RedPillSucks 33
Does it count if you're passed out? Sounds like she got raped....
notsorandomguy 18
Still counts she just had sex.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doesn't matter, got raped? ^
karkid619 8
Still counts.
MatheusRajuidas 5
Correction: Someone needs to get laid with looooove.
hugsnkissesforu 0
when I read 59's and 67's comments together I did it too the tune of Lonely Island's I just had sex
ladyLALAA 29
121, because rape is so cool?
Mariebaz 11
Sounds like you two had a deep bonding session. FYL for sure!
ClassyCommando 13
I always make my teeth look nice for the sexy dentist...I guess that's almost the same thing.
joker72401 1
Almost the same. But NOT. A gyno sees so many vaginas in a day that he/she probably is sick of them!! Ladies, just keep the vaginas clean and healthy so the doc can see them and tell you whats happening down there.
khatyangelz 0
Couldn't you say the same about teeth? A dentist sees teeth everyday and might get sick of them too.
RedPillSucks 33
Sexy teeth???
murdersquirrel 15
Joker, please stfu. It is the same thing. You see a dentist, you brush your teeth first. You see a podiatrist, you scrub the feet and wear fresh socks. You see a dermatologist, you go in with fresh clean skin. You see a gynecologist, you clean up downstairs. Same idea.
DocBasterdwanabe 4
#1 Horrible attempt at first comment -_- shame.
PandaSmile 24
She sounds like a perfectly reasoned and balanced person. Why would you choose to brag about getting pregnant whilst passed out in a truck? People are strange creatures.
ClassyCommando 13
Nope, she means another patient. You get it now, Champ?
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Is this one of those "my friend" things where this is all actually you?
murdersquirrel 15
If OP had said 'my friend' anywhere...
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
"I talked to a person" and "I talked to a friend" are the same. Use a little logic.
KeyboardWarrior 10
84 How about you make sure you're correct before correcting others? The actual sentence was "I had a conversation with another patient". Nice try.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Oh, because patients aren't people? Gotcha.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Umm you were quoting, and failed. For the record, a person is not always a friend. I know what you meant, but since you wanna be a smartass I will too.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
I used quotation marks to symbolize the relationship between the two statements, nowhere were they stated in the FML. If we're judging by thumbs ups, it would be you who failed. Aaaaaand I wasn't even talking to you in the first place.
spearodude 0
I don't want to like this because the comment has 69 likes and I dont want to ruin it.
crystalxa 35
I think everyone spruces up a bit when going to see a doctor or brushing extra for the dentist. But the other info is TMI for her to share with a stranger!
KeyboardWarrior 10
She's warning you that the doc is her man, and you should step off. Otherwise she'll get some angry, horny trucker after you. *shudders*
eyecon502 13
Is your therapist Jerry Springer?