Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, when I came out to my family, my mom told me in all seriousness she’d rather me be a prostitute than a lesbian. She added, “At least prostitutes have sex with men.” When I pointed out that lesbians can also be prostitutes, she kicked me out of the house. She’s changed the locks. FML
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I told my mom that I’m a lesbian. She was fine with it, supported me 100%, and it was a huge relief, until she followed up with, “Until you find a husband, then you’ll obviously have to stop all that.” The reason I even told her is because my girlfriend just proposed to me, and we’re engaged. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
Alup132 22
5 boxes? She must be really confident that you’re a straight woman who is gonna have LOTS of sex with dudes...
TrashlifeKaylala 12
Better than how my mom reacted. She sent me to my room and said she never wanted to see my face again
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Comments (13)
Alup132 22
5 boxes? She must be really confident that you’re a straight woman who is gonna have LOTS of sex with dudes...
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
i know loads of lesbians who have sex with men once in a while and are adamant they're not bi
TrashlifeKaylala 12
Better than how my mom reacted. She sent me to my room and said she never wanted to see my face again
Major_Haywire 7
Maybe she thinks you wear the strap-on and thought she could save you some cleaning
Memnoc 26
Yes, because I can't even begin to count how many unwanted strapon pregnancies happen every day!
Major_Haywire 7
That’s how but plugs are born
RichardPencil 32
Epic water balloon fight!
slowhandjp 18
Just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean you don't get pregnant.
mssileas 25
Just say "thanks, that's maybe handy when I'm dating a trans girl!" and watch her head explode lmao
BurnInDemonFire 39
Look at it this way: You've now got 5 boxes of condoms to sell to friends who might be too embarrassed to go to a store to buy them. Can you say "cha-ching!"?
Mooglefox 24
At least she wants you to have safe sex.
Suaria 38
The good part is you can turn them into dental dams or give them away to people for free.