Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML
Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML
Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML
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Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
Watch out before he gets you!!!
Molson87 3
Is that a duck face?
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Comments (183)
EpicSquishii 21
Watch out before he gets you!!!
Tali147 16
Sleep with one eye open...all killers get skull tattoos.
EpicSquishii 21
It's how we.... I mean.... "they" recognize each other. How else could we organize our murderous tea parties?
OAAS 0
It's not his fault, the skull is mandatory if you want to be taken seriously. I didn't want to get my skull tattoo when I first got into homicide, but now I wear it with pride. The fact that he already has his is proof that she's already a target, assuming he's good at what he does.
Tali147 16
Unless he's professional. Professionals never bring their work home.
Latissimus 3
Mother knows best right?
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Actually a tear drop tattoo under your eye means you have killed someone... The skull has no homicidal meaning.
thatKidzmOm 10
I get questioned about my heartagram tattoo alllll the time! It's like "are you a devil worshiper?" or "is that satanic?" WHY YES, YES IT IS, you jackass. Some people are just ignorant.
emilyjgraham 34
87, not saying this in a nasty way at all but I think people were just going along with the joke :-)
chrisbyg 6
No one talks about fight club
melibear89 7
87- your an idiot. People are going along with a joke.
aaahhhfire21 0
25-now we have to remove yours you know the rules it's like fight club no talking bout it. But those are the most kickass teaparties ever
reddawn1985 12
It may not mean he kills people but its pretty badass still
pxndiieinsanity 6
Run! Run quickly and call the police! Tell them your husband's a murderer and the proof is on his shoulder! They'll believe you!
realSlimjimShady 7
I have a dragon tattoo around my butt hole to show I kill people, but that's just me.
Me_You_Us 7
They totally will.
DK1234567 8
Or it can mean he eats other peoples faces
downtime 13
92, People not being aware of the significance of your tattoo doesn't really mean they're jackasses. They're asking the question, not yelling and screaming that you're a heathen, so who cares? Some people won't have seen it before. Personally, I just think its unoriginal. OP, you need to explain to your mother that these days skull tattoos just mean your husband got really drunk one night and did something stupid. Whether that was get a tattoo or murder someone would be open to interpretation...
thatKidzmOm 10
Hey downtime, quit being an ass. I didn't ask you for your opinion, I simply made a generic statement on the ignorance of people in general. No need for your 2 cents, I have my own. Thanks!!!
downtime 13
What can I say, I'm just a generous charitible individual. I offered my two cents because I knew that the value of yours in comparison was negligible. A thankyou would have been nice but hey, some people just don't like charity and I get that. Just know, theres more where that came from. By the way, not recognising the logo for a band is ignorance by definition, but not all ignorance is bad. Your lack of understanding and common sense however...
_ebbonyy 11
You never know these days.. :)
xavier21_fml 6
It's true, 3, you never know.. or maybe I've been watching too much TV.
xavier21_fml 6
2* lol
Meowingtons500 18
I thought it was teardrop tattoos that meant people where cold blooded killers...
MerrikBarbarian 9
Yeah tear drops, skulls and other things are a language among gang members. The key is that they are done as prison tats, not as professional ones. The number of prison tats also speaks to others how long/how often they've been incarcerated.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
I thought tear drops were only earned by killing someone in prison. Kinda like the white supremacist lightning bolt.
gabe222 25
Actually there are two different tear drops... One represents your confirmed kill and the other represents the loss of a family(gang) member. Closed tear drop and opened tear drop.
BerryRockstar 9
Is she religious? lol
Molson87 3
Is that a duck face?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
13- Yes, it is. And a very unattractive one, at that.
itsame0987 18
Duck Hunt!!! Bang!!! *temptation got the best of me
RaggleFrock 13
23 she isn't unattractive, that one of the better duck faces I have seen.
evilplatypus 39
A "better" duck face? That's like say a "better" frontal lobotomy. There's only so much something can suck before we stop giving them gradations.
shannonreneee 11
3, my parents are ministers and have heaps of tattoos. Religion isn't always the culprit, some people are just quick to make assumptions about a person's character strictly based on appearances.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Duckface, irrelevant comment... People like you are exactly what gives us girls a bad name :/
Latissimus 3
Here we go again
Bekll 31
29, they're all unattractive.
Ismaeldaboss 1
You people are very rude to us ducks -.-
NeonPopRocks 14
DUCK FACE!!!! Donald duck and daffy duck are soo gonna fight for you!
flashback.miss 28
Too much lifetime tv for Op's mom, perhaps? Maybe he was a punk when he was younger.... If you share her paranoia, by all means investigate, though it does sound like she's jumping into conclusions....or has some other ulterior motive.
zuzupetalsYO 11
#4-Your picture, profile, and comment are disturbing.
SadDashie92 3
I don't even wanna know what's on your tongue...
AH1Zviper 15
Get you and your damn screwed up tongue outa here.
LeFunnyJunk 2
Is that a pepto bismol tongue? I've had that before
yumgranolabar 5
Parents can be nutjobs sometimes.
krewer21 1
We sure can! :) but I think OP's mom is around the bend...
1PaulyD 9
They can be at times, they have their generation and we have ours.
Blaqkeyeliner 6
Honestly I gave you a thumbs up only because your picture is AMAZING and made me laugh. I didn't even read your comment.
ZeroIce 12
Why does he have a skull tattoo anyway?
instnt1nfction 17
Because he kills people.
aleeshttylXD 9
maybe he's gothic...
eriksen 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What's "FML team"?
hecallsmedarlin 7
Because he wanted one. Does it really call for more explanation than that? No. Nothing wrong with someone getting a skull tattoo, I know plenty.
Roflsauruz 12
31- the.... Uh,..... FML team?!? :/ It's the moderators, dummy...
kyarush 10
Because we live in a country where you can get a tattoo of whatever you want...
JoeRogansBEARD 15
God bless America.
Jaxx66 21
Heck, I have a hard enough time dealing with people saying I'm ruining gods work by putting the abomination of butterflies on my ankle. I feel bad for OP's hubby. :( I hope he takes the criticism ok and still loves his tattoo! And to answer the "why" does he have a skull. Some people like those things. And some people get tattoos the mark a certain event or memorable moment in their life. All mine have a reason and in 40 years when they are wrinkly I can look at them and know who I was and what I was thinking.
thatKidzmOm 10
Because its his body and he can do whatever he wants with it. Good enough answer for me!!
boofgall 16
31- Real flattering angle of your self, good choice of a display picture.
blissmarie 6
Eriksen, you must be new.....
melibear89 7
31- really? How can you not figure out what "FML team" is? The rest of us figured it out without asking. Your either new or your as dense as post.
Me_You_Us 7
To annoy you of course
DiruKitty18 8
Why do you not have a tattoo of a skull?:)
perdix 31
Run! Maybe your mom is right. Do you want to have her engrave "I told you so" on your tombstone? If he's not a murderer, he's just a poseur pirate, which is almost worse!
Tali147 16
It is much worse.
MeNoGusta 0
it means he has killed ppl... totally just kidding
onlychildFTW 34
Every skull represents 5 people he has killed. You better run OP!!! Haha
itssosparkly 21
Don't worry, it doesn't mean that at all! It just means you married a Death Eater.
Myo_fml 20
OP's mother is obviously a muggle and doesn't understand.
raraisbang 12
In that case, OPs husband might soon kill OPs mom, and he shamefully married a mudblood!
jphillips20 0
Does the tattoo have a snake tongue? Filthy muggles... Always jumping to conclusions.
NicholasLanier 12
I'm pretty sure the death eaters killed people.
Tali147 16
Oh he is most definitely a murderer. The tattoo says so. That's almost as bad as my grandmother. She's convinced that every man in America with a shaved head is racist and wants to rape me.
wlddog 14
Hey hey hey now. I was drunk and you did all the work.
the_anti_hipster 7
My mother is convinced that my nose piercing is some kind of indication of homosexuality, like the "left ear" piercing for dudes in the '90s. I have yet to tell her I'm bisexual. I'm afraid she'll break out the holy water.