Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Motherly love
Today, I overheard my mother saying that if murder were legal, there would be absolutely no chance that I wouldn’t have been killed as a baby. FML
Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Domestic
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML
Chill out
Today, I had to warn my wife not to kill her insane mother. I was serious. FML
But mah granbabies!
Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw in a 'You'll miss me when I'm dead' to finish this guilt trip?" Now, she's crying and my father wants to murder me. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Top comments
Varieus 30
Isaac, is that you?
sp00derman 23
if she offers you to join her on a mountain to make a sacrifice, don't join her!
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Comments (75)
Nati9876 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If she believes deeply in God, then she would do anything to please Him. Her commitment to God is outstanding.
Mynamewontfi 40
You call it outstanding, I call it disturbing.
tackblog 14
You know what else is outstanding? Seeing a psychiatrist.
fakedsincerity 32
Change the word "God" to "the devil" or any other voice in her head she'd be deemed insane and institutionalised. It's not devotion it's the definition of insanity. Jeez.
Elena95 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I accidentally upvoted you.
TripleDallas123 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I mean, the same exact story is I'm the Bible and is told regularly. It's not shocking or disturbing.
jimeple 12
You can always take it back.
fyvaprold 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#11: I find *your* lack of faith disturbing.
Candijpg 17
isn't it against the bible to kill?
MarkGaus 12
That's not God that she is committed. God isn't cruel
justaweirdgirl 14
overly religious people can be so charming! "Son, I love you so much I would murder you if a voice in my head told me to", disturbing.
katachristic 19
No, outstanding is correct. It stands WAY the **** outside the bounds of normal rational people.
SpyroMello 29
#60 it's against one of the Ten Commandments not the bible and I'm pretty sure God wouldn't tell anyone to kill anyone since he cherishes all life and wants everyone to love one another.
tantanpanda 26
^ God told many to kill others in the old testament. I have no idea what you're talking about. He punishes Saul for not killing everybody in a city. He kills a baby as punishment for adultery. Very convincing.
MrLonelyHertz 23
That is until you get the bill.... That alone might drive you bonkers. Lol
AvidFMLGuy 5
Your stupidity disturbs me more. A man of logic in the 21st century baffles you? Boo hoo
IronMan_Mk43 20
I'm surprised no one here brought up God's mass genocide, aka the story of Noah's Ark
DevilsShadow 5
I'm catholic, and I find this disturbing. Please don't give us a bad name.
CodyJensen1998 8
Seriously? If your mother said she would murder you because the voices in her head told her to, would you think, "her commitment to the suicidal voices in her head is outstanding"
PG7 8
Institutionalize her.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
This sounds like a joke but you may need to actually do it, OP. Your mother has admitted that she would harm you if she was told to by someone that may or may not exist. If someone is threatening suicide they get put in a hospital, so if she is threatening to kill you (yes, her statement is technically a threat) you need to have her put somewhere where she can be watched so they can make sure she doesn't kill herself or someone else.
sp00derman 23
if she offers you to join her on a mountain to make a sacrifice, don't join her!
Varieus 30
Isaac, is that you?
Magnoxidans 19
OMG that's the first thing I thought of too! Isaaaaaaccc
nanxi 30
Welp, time to head into the Basement, OP.
bryce0110 23
The binding of Isaac. One of the weirdest stories in the bible and one of the weirdest games.
chinaski7628 32
26, The story of Lot and his daughters is way weirder than Isaac. That one always creeps me out. Ezekiel is pretty weird, too.
Enslaved 38
What about the guy in Judges that cuts up his concubine into pieces? The story is very similar to Lot's.
Brandi_Faith 34
I love how diverse the Bible is. Some people think it's all just rules and regulations when in reality there's romance, betrayal, murder, love, sacrifice, sex, scandal, war, history, encouragement, and a whole lot of other stuff. Whether you believe in it or not, you can't say it's not interesting.
LiveForSenpai 13
Hehehe, I see what you did there :P
sophiilou 19
This is SO true
kemando 22
beat me to it. Lol
hannah_dl 11
Nuts like her are disgusting. Some people really don't deserve to be called mothers. Evil woman.
UserError94 18
Yea, and cashews, I ******* hate cashews
Dorminion 13
#15 You made my day
musoboy 22
Cashews are legumes, not nuts
Recon13x 9
deez nutz are legumes
UserError94 18
72 how dare you... I hope you choke on a banana herb
Etweens96 25
Dude. Run.
RebeccaRFT 18
Okay, let's say God is 100% proven fact real. Are you really not gonna do what God tells you to? That's just asking for something bad to happen
DoomedGemini 38
If a God wanted me to kill my own child why the **** do I want to worship him?
fakedsincerity 32
If the bible was 100% true... One of the Ten Commandments says "Thou Shalt Not Murder" - So, no I would not murder anyone on his say so. Especially my child. It would make god one hypocritical asshole to go against his own commandments. lol.
mrsmikelowrey 15
Then I will gladly take the bad to save my child. I've been in an abusive relationship before and I said never again and meant it. I don't care where it's coming from.
pooniels 5
Okay, let's be realistic and mention the fact that 4.2 billion people agree your god is not real. Are you really gonna listen to the a homicidal thought that pops into your head? People that hear voices in their head are either hallucinating or have mental health problems. People that kill when they hear a voice suggest it are psychotic and should be locked up.
kelzo33 7
I'd rather burn for eternity than kill my kid
katachristic 19
24, genuinely curious where you got that stat from?
MrLonelyHertz 23
If God proved himself to be real, no doubt we would hold him accountable for all the pain and suffering inflicted on people in his name, just saying.
PO_linesman 4
If God is 100% real then the afterlife is also 100% real - in which case killing someone whom God has told you to kill wouldn't be as bad as it sounds. However, if an entity claiming to be God told me to kill someone I would be asking that entity for some ID.
pooniels 5
Very simple: the world has around 7.4B people and the largest religion (christianity) is only 30% of that, so the remaining 5.2B+ people don't believe in whatever god they propose. I was using outdated numbers, so it's actually a bit more than I thought. Thanks for pointing that out:D
sp00derman 23
The only reason God told Abraham to kill his son was to test his faith. Right before Abraham was going to kill Isaac, God told him to stop and to not harm him. But now, God knew that Abraham truly loves him more than even his only son, and that he chose to follow God's will with his own free will.
Keiraquarium 12
Still a dick move on God's part. I wouldn't worship anything that instructed me to kill my own child, no matter why they did it
DoomedGemini 38
In my opinion, a parent should put their child first. That includes choosing damnation over murdering your child. Seriously, what kind of parent kills their child so THEY won't get in trouble with God? And as others have said, if that's he God Id have to worship and who'd Id stay with in heaven, send me to hell. If you are such an insecure God to even want your creation to out worshipping you over their own child, you're not the all loving God that's claimed.
TAntobella 14
That god is really, really narcissistic... "Show me how much you love me! I know you love me but I want you to do something SPECTACULAR for me!! Come on prove how much you love ME and let everyone know!"... That's the behaviour of one egoistical manipulative attention seeking twisted bitch! How can people manage to believe in those stories..
Crawyz 11
Binding of Isaac rebirth part 2
dragonowl21 9
This is the true plot of Afterbirth+.
Magnoxidans 19
You could always say "Are you sure that's god talking and not the devil?"
mrsmikelowrey 15
I know that's your biological parent but she's no mother.