Anonymous
Houston, United States
Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
brbkillingmyself
United States
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
mymomsstupid
United States
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
cookie_lover_xx
Chandler, United States
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
mei-ah
Alanis Morissette reference
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
beekie9
United States
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Anonymous
Tucson, United States
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Alberto
Doomsday
Today, I had to wake up my mother as the earthquake alarm rang in my country. This is the second quake in less than a week. FML
bob
United States
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
No Prayer for Fools
Paranaque City, Philippines
True believer
Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML
heathen atheist
Witnessed
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Top comments
Mlk313 11
#9 False. Bill Clinton came more than 3 times in office alone
chicken_mcnugget 3
What rapture is it this time?
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Comments (96)
raytyler26 16
Batten down the hatches!
Kaylee_Knudsen 19
Can I join her? With the way this country is going I don't blame her. But we had a shutdown in '95-'96 and we survived..
tiernang 21
You just copied fifteen
TheDrifter 24
This is actually the 18th time that the US federal government has "shut down". I put that in quotes because 2/3 of government workers are still working and a large number more were furloughed unnecessarily as a political stunt to maximize the visible effects (like putting barricades up in open air, privately funded national monuments, something that's never been done during a shut down before). Once someone cracks and either starts to negotiate with congress or passes a bill exactly like last year (depending on which side) everything will go on like nothing happened.
Grand_Cookie 21
Can i have your stuff when you go? I could always use an extra tv.
Mirorbo 27
All I could think is "...again?!"
skittlez94 7
How do you prepare for the rapture? Just asking.
Rainhawk94 27
get naked
Parkour_rocks 20
Is this an FML because she believes in the Rapture or because she is preparing for it?
graceinsheepwear 34
Yes.
Eivana 37
Ugh. Oh boy.
DasHaas 9
Ask her to transfer all her wordly possessions to you. Reference the part of the bible where it says that to get into heaven, you need to give all your stuff away.
thefattest 1
File those verses under "conveniently ignored"
Futacy 30
In the rest of the world, whenever there's political tension, they get their shit together like intelligent human beings. But in 'murica, whenever the two political parties are in a feud, and they shut down the government, it must mean the president is the anti-christ. No offense, but your mom sounds like someone who's never left her own state, and thinks that America is the chosen state of the world by god, and that all that matters is what happens in the US.
Shandra78 9
I hear ya, mine has been waiting for the past 20 years. Any day now, she says...
jw90 18
At least she'll be prepared. Maybe you should start doing the same :p