Doomsday

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

Jumpy

Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

Woah!

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML