Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, I had to pretend my phone was broken because my mom kept calling to ask if she could join my friends and me for karaoke night. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
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Top comments
pbonham 22
Your mum was being nice to you!!! How could you be mean like that for no reason?!?!
LGuard 13
Just wow, sounds psychotic to me.
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Comments (78)
Dcm210 19
well I hope you find some friends .
perdix 31
If you have a webcam, you could at least play online naked sudoku. Sign up at perdix'sDungeon.com.
fg_cn 3
you sucks, buddy
auzz1_pride 9
OP doesn't suck. Justin bieber sucks, Miley Cyrus sucks, one Direction sucks, OP is just a flat out idiot, if I ever spoke to my mother like that she'd crack out the belt.
texas_cowboi316 1
Welcome to the club!!
bethanybunny_fml 4
Touchy, aren't we? You could've at least hanged out with your Mom and Sudokued the night away with some sense of dignity.. :0
ebonyirony 29
Be nice to your mom.
jcd824 5
Sudoku is intense... Especially with friends! Oh wait..
perdix 31
Aw, I'll be your friend! The top row is 4 8 1 3 9 2 7 5 6 ;)
PamChopsWithMint 5
You should be nice to your mom. She could be your only friend.
HmongJohn 9
If you're making such a big deal about not having a social life do something about it. There are all sorts of people with different personalities and interests. You're sure to find some you have common ground with. Just a tip... Don't pretend being angry at them....