Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, I had to pretend my phone was broken because my mom kept calling to ask if she could join my friends and me for karaoke night. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pbonham 22
Your mum was being nice to you!!! How could you be mean like that for no reason?!?!
LGuard 13
Just wow, sounds psychotic to me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
ImmaB3AST 7
People tend to have ****** up social lives when they treat the ones who care about them like shit.
vladmire 4
Pretty sure you should be nicer to your mom.
ineslovescats 5
And you wonder why you have no social life...
DocBastard 40
I GUARANTEE you that your mother knows that you have no social life. That's the biggest mistake kids make - assuming you're smarter than your parents. We know, and we care. Don't lie to us, especially about something frivolous like this.
pinkpixie06 11
Thumbs up for the genuine advice from Doc! I couldn't find even a hint of sarcasm...
missyfiona89 28
Lol! What starts with a L, and rhymes with poser?
Outnuendo 8
Lederhosen?
XKXKKXK 10
Loser and poser don't rhyme......
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Somebody fails at rhyming!
Futacy 30
¿¿¿WTF???
Arosamond 7
nothing wrong with a little alone time.
keepingitnasty 15
Op: sudoku you're my only friend.
foshizzle82 7
Is OP saying that she has no friends? I find that really sad. Still, no excuse to be mean to your mum but I can understand why she'd be so defensive. FYL OP.
andrew6p 19
OP, very nice ! Try to be more polite next time to tour mom rather than being an A-hole
andrew6p 19
Ur*
loserboii 11
Well at least you're exercising your brain. I can never finish those Soduku puzzles.