Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML
Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
peachesncreem 21
And how does she think she's going to achieve that?
sisterjameela 7
How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
Your_Nightmares 10
Well ok then.... Whatever floats her boat...no matter how disturbing it may be...
k_ninjaa 9
That is... very disturbing.
Mister_Triangle 21
She should float her boat to a different room. That shit's nasty
Futacy 30
Dear People, This is what we've been reduced to. Stop joining vegetarian organizations, because this is what you will become. Become an omnivore, like what you were meant for. Sincerely, Yours Truly.
DocBastard 40
Futacy - what in the name of Usain Bolt are you talking about? Have you been snorting grated Parmesan cheese again? Do we need to stage another cheese intervention? I'm worried about you. Get help. Seriously.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
At least it's just ants.... for now.
GodPart2 20
Umm how does one revive a dead ant? Mouth to mouth?? :-)
Marcella1016 32
Ahem. I'm about to embarrass the crap out of myself, but I can relate to OP's sis on a slightly less disturbing level. When I was little, my window got stuck open and ants got into my room. One day I accidentally injured one but it was still alive. I felt horrible. I moved it near another ant, which picked it up and carried it off. I imagined it going to a little ant hospital to get all better. Imagine my horror when my friends informed me that they kill and eat their injured... As far as OP's sis, I can relate to the "all life is precious" standpoint. We're infinitesimally small in the grand scheme of the universe, and on that scale, ants are barely smaller than us. However...yeah, I don't know why she thought she could actually "revive" dead ants. Maybe she can channel that passion into becoming a biologist or something...
tinysocks 11
Wtf does not eating meat have to do with anything? Haha
DownDownAndAway 0
I'm a vegetarian and I wouldn't do shit.
peachesncreem 21
And how does she think she's going to achieve that?
Your_Nightmares 10
Tiny defibrillators of course!
Sinamoi 18
CLEAR!
goose12321 11
CPR
vintagemeow 6
Mouth to mandible resuscitation?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
How???? Well that's the anther OP's sister is looking for. ;)
murlocholmes 5
AA batteries... Lots of AA batteries.
SneakyCaveman 13
Ancient pagan rituals that haven't been used for centuries.
Awkward_Science 2
She got tips from GLaDOS
jessesgirl14 16
The sister is trying to become a necrom*ant*cer!
Rob777 0
Exactly how did you find out?
howrudoin 11
Just out of curiousity I'd like to see how she accomplishes that lol.
Psych101 9
I believe it cost 2000 energy cubes. Sorry if I'm wrong, it's been a while since I've practiced my necromancy.
love_isnt_enough 15
It's alive... It's ALIVE!
PizzaRollsss 5
First she would have to gather all 7 dragonballs, summon shenron and wish for them to come back to life. :)
destroyer69 0
She would first make sure the ants are only part dead, not all dead, because if they are only part dead then they are also part alive. Then she would have to put a set of billows in the ants mouth and work it up and down, even if this did work the ant would still need a little while to fully recover as shown on princess bride. I apologize my memory is slightly lacking if u want the full detail watch the movie.
MerrikBarbarian 9
105- I love you for that ref! I knew it instantly. It's one of my favorite movies :)
sisterjameela 7
How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.
hellachillin 8
Those ants working on her ant farm have some good medical care these days, better than most people farmers actually
cynthiaijk 8
That's almost sweet, depends on her age though, but hey! It could be worse
ImmaB3AST 7
You play Sudoku, don't you? Finish any books lately?
Goldenchest 14
^ FML reference fail
Fmlsea 28
That's new forever alone with revived ants .
bienlunee 6
Very odd...
MindFreakazoid 10
Odd indeed. But OP's sister sounds pretty awesome.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Interesting... I don't think she knows it would probably take years upon years of power advancement in order to do that, if it were possible.
Mister_Triangle 21
If we had the technology to bring dead animals back to life, I can assure you that ants would be very low on the list of dead things we want alive again.
Shadow_Phantom 26
True that. I very much dislike them... but it would be a good start, seeing as they don't take up too much energy.
vashappin 8
Yeah..... Cause that's so normal
Cats_And_Kitties 3
Are you telling me its not normal? Seems that I have to change things in my life around a bit /:
carminecris89 13
That's creepy...and she obviously doesn't see a good deal because I don't know anyone who wouldn't want a sibling willing to clean up their side of the room. I'm assuming you live at home if you share a room. You should probably tell your parents.
19646 1
"I'm assuming you live at home" ...o
carminecris89 13
25 oops I didn't clarify that enough. I mean't at home with your parents.