Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mother I was doing fine with my classes when I actually wasn't because her mother is dying, and I didn't want her to have more things to stress about. She found out and she's very hurt. I feel awful about it and I know lying wasn't the right thing to do, but in the moment I didn't want to cause her any more pain. FML
Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML
Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML
Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Aww, just buy your friend a new book.
xlord 27
Don't ever tell her if you lose your car/house keys!!
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Comments (53)
DestinyNiya 33
Aww, just buy your friend a new book.
cinskeep43 15
no way!! a faked death would be so much more fun. and nobody goes to bookstores these days
orbit 22
They still have bookstores?
cadillacgal79 32
Yes they still have bookstores, but fangirls/boys and book lovers alike inhabit them. *hisses while standing in front of the door* my precious.....
PinkieKeen 20
It's pretty sad that you guys really think that nobody except "fangirls and fanboys" go to bookstores.
xlord 27
Don't ever tell her if you lose your car/house keys!!
ShadowOpsV4 13
Let's all remember that it is just a book
shay_serendipity 29
"Mom, I can't find the house keys" "... Now we can't ever get back into our home!! Time to move to a new country and start a new life!" "But don't we have a spare-" "IT'S TOO LATE NOW, WE NEED TO GO. THERE IS NO GOING BACK"
WCARlover 35
I'm sure she was kidding. But if she wasn't, that's pretty messed up...also, instead of just fessing up you should buy your friend a new book
jerryj 27
My advice: do it in a creative, artistic manner. Trust me on this.
DarksideDoll 31
I advise OP's mother to start writing soap operas.
missjessicamarie 14
Why not just buy her a new book? Maybe your mom should get checked out to make sure she doesn't have a disorder, like bipolar disorder. That way they can give her some medicine to make her better.
Cass_x 22
Taking medication for everything that may be wrong with you isn't the best thing to do, you know
wang33334 12
I think I sorta get your sense of humor. It is pretty.....um....medical.
cocainewhore 30
#5 bipolar disorder is nothing like that though.
Nyx7 24
Chances are she isn't bipolar, sounds more like she's skitzo
greencurtains74 11
thats not skitzophrenic sounding at all....
Lika1712 11
@29 & 30 that's not even how you spell " Schizophrenia " and also, I'm sure the mum's just joking around and being over dramatic for the fun of it.
Welshite 40
It's a good strategy, and you seem well suited to it as a Hylian princess. Fake your death, go into hiding, and wait for Link to find you.
showmeyourears 19
Or better yet, disguise yourself as a man and follow your friend around, teaching her magical songs until she finds the book herself and you can reveal your identity.
clemsi 20
Try having her run into a bookshelf. I did that once and the book I found led me to a sword and three medallions.
ChenEighty 20
Last time I lost something my friend gave me I hid in Venezuela for 6 years, your mom is under reacting!
ChristianH39 30
By "something" do you mean cocaine and was this friend a drug Lord?
Zman2017 18
You better get running girl, your friend is gonna hunt you down. Pick somewhere and go. Might I suggest Nebraska, it's lovely this time of year
kinky44 28
Nebraska is lovely never. Don't try to trick OP like that.
trellz17 19
I know that feeling all too well, when you lose something that doesn't belong to you. Sometimes depending on what it is faking your death does seem that bad.
Bloink 25
well that's one way to solve the problem