Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "Don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML
Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I came out to my parents. My mom and dad think that I'm lying, just so I could "fit in" with everyone else. FML
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Top comments
JayChuckles 4
iPhone...
Jiinxx 8
shit just got real.
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Comments (107)
JayChuckles 4
We're you lying to her? Or does she only think you're a loser?
Ririshi 0
We're you lying? LOL learn proper English.. It's were you lying. We're means we are
JayChuckles 4
iPhone...
NickyK 25
Bring some friends over, show her she's wrong :)
putloginhere 6
Yeah i just took autocorrect off my phone and my ipod. It just pisses me off
AbbyAbyss 5
12- Grammar nazi attemp: Fail.
nado13579 12
The friends are real! Their names are Bloo, Wilt, Eduardo, Coco, and Cheese. ...someone please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers that show.
Skittlepickle 13
I like autocorrect. I don't have to type the whole word so I can spend more time being lazy.
Pelvispresley 8
12- 'lol' is not proper english.
Mischief109 11
48- I remember!!!
thatKidzmOm 10
48-I have season one on DVD! Seasons 2 and after are super expensive :-/ that's when cheese came along! Damnit! I'm going watch foster's now!
monicadempsy 5
We are you lying to her? Wtf
iPeterPan 8
Why don't you read the rest of the responses and realise he said 'iPhone'?
MidnaLink 35
48 Fortunately no... I used to love that show. Didn't like cheese very much....
Jewlz1162 5
48-loved that show, cheese was the best
Keattles 14
12 - Such a fail. Love it when they fail harder than what they commented on. Good job
i_wuz_nver_here 31
48 they will all be dearly missed
AwkwardPartyBear 24
#60 They have already established that. I would like to suggest reading the comments under the original commenter.
blondebrunette11 4
Autocorrect can go to he'll.
kalixzo 11
1- Is that you Cal Chuchesta?
Jiinxx 8
shit just got real.
Keevarou 17
Or imaginary, see what I did there?
Jiinxx 8
lol! yes, I do. well played.
TheBlackCops 0
OP only has one eye.
StanSmith_fml 9
You don't say "dead in the eyes", stop trying to be a smartass.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op didn't say he/she had friends. He/she just said they were hanging with some friends. Op could have been hanging with somebody else's friends. Which is kind of creepy now that I think about it.
Ririshi 0
That must be quite a bad feeling you have then..
thisisafunnyname 12
That's probably why it's posted in fmylife.com
rahrah765765 11
Holy shit you have one eye?
Fenthik 4
Just a common way of wording things with body parts. Ex." I took an arrow in the knee. "
DollGoneWrong 0
One eye is all OP needs. With one eye, they're still open and free to the world of evil.
Killuhk 8
I'm pretty sure they were being sarcastic....lol
zuzupetalsYO 11
An arrow to the knee is a horrible example.
rahrah765765 11
Note to self: be more obvious when quoting Cyanide and Happiness. BIBLE, 1 Corinthians 10:13
guitarh4 7
Aww :( I'm so sorry about that. You have an extremely rude mother! Well I hope you explained the story to her, and she apologized. Have fun with your friends! :)
ChrisTheCalm 9
My mom thinks someone bullies me , and that's why I keep missing my morning classes. -.-
reddudeover 2
24 - Cool story bro, let me be the first to say all of our lives are richer having heard it.
FMLoverAgain 7
Well are you being bullied? Why are you missing classes. Did you hear about that girl who was put in jail for missing classes in Texas?
SexyQueen0905 24
"No, no, I am. Their names are Herp, Nota Realname, and Topsy Kretts!" But seriously, OP, that sucks. Try bringing them round the house to prove they're real.
g02hell 2
Lmao I love the play on words:D
wayfan 5
I really, REALLY hope "Topsy Kretts" was a Number 23 reference. But yeah, sorry OP. That does stink.
SkoomaKi 28
Bring them home, and prove her wrong!
llamafish 25
But then they might have to actually meet OP's mother.
ArsenalFan12 0
Bitch
steelflax 5
Nice profile pic shirt
Enslaved 38
That's what I always told my mom when I "really" was hanging out with a guy I knew she wouldn't approve of instead. Parents are smart now a days because they know what lies they told their parents to get away with murder. If you weren't lying, then just say so without blinking.(:
mackdeezy 22
She sounds nice