Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, I had to pretend my phone was broken because my mom kept calling to ask if she could join my friends and me for karaoke night. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
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Top comments
pbonham 22
Your mum was being nice to you!!! How could you be mean like that for no reason?!?!
LGuard 13
Just wow, sounds psychotic to me.
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Comments (78)
chellytiger 12
Ever think that maybe she just wanted to spend time with you. I get you have no life but being mean to your mom isn't right. She might have just wanted some mom and daughter time.
your_ma 27
So why have you decided OP is a) old enough to work and b) unemployed?
Mahtari 19
Commit sudoku
skittycat213 19
Terrible pun, but great at the same time lol
TheFatKid01 0
Sounds like an average night for me, except replace sudoku with fapping....
dunicha 20
So on an average night you "...finish your fapping book"?
lexiieeex3 32
You're an asshole. You truly are.
Ixi_the_pixie 11
The Riddler would be proud.
outoftown 27
When OP apologizes to her mom, it's an opening to how she can help OP get a social life. Moms were teens, too. We don't know the situation; she may have just moved there, changed schools, have no transportation, little money, any number of issues. Hope OP's mom would be constructive and work with her daughter.
RomanBeauty 0
Maybe if you were not so psychotic and not a jerk to people for no reason, you would have a social life OP
skittycat213 19
Hey now, sudoku is great! But it doesn't have to rule your life tho ;)
om102907 4
Juvenile.... Plain and simple!