Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
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Top comments
Chelsea_bella 20
At least it was long distance vomiting.
regenerate 19
How romantic...
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Comments (82)
kittylevin 8
Dude, it's incredibly sweet of you to stay online all night for him! I'm sure he'd do the same for you if you were drunk.
InnocentWings 13
FYI and YDI. Next time, put the call on mute while you sleep
natywantspeace 7
Welcome to the complexity of real relationships. I had to actually clean puke out my carpet before. Stop complaining
Yayabean1590 2
It's better then him getting drunk and plowing someone else!
squarecircles 13
Awe, he's lovesick for ya.
mata2 7
I love Skype sleepovers its odd at first but its nice. the drunk part sucks but other then that I hope you had fun.
Bubzie 5
Consider yourself lucky! My boyfriend once threw up all over my lap, and I of course had to clean it up.
Bradynrr 7
Sounds like he really misses you. Maybe that's why he's drinking heavily.
edmundoly 4
And I thought it was sweet.
marigoldcobain 21
If my boyfriend did that, that'd be funny. I don't know why but picturing him slurring, "Weit, Nao no no... Baaabe keep it on awl nite... so it'll fel liek im actuly ther..." Is just hilarious to me.