Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
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Top comments
Chelsea_bella 20
At least it was long distance vomiting.
regenerate 19
How romantic...
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Comments (82)
mybubbles2000 13
Sorry OP. But at least he wanted to spend time with you.
DylanHasClass 17
Better then waking up to him cheating..
bobslawnservice 16
Well his heart was in the right place even though his dinner wasn't.
worldclassrager 41
I really hope he remembered that day so that he doesn't get too drunk again
sanecatlady 13
This is why I don't like people getting drunk.
sanecatlady 13
This is why I can't stand people getting drunk. You never know when they'll heave-ho!
Xotoolyxo 16
At least it's sweet that he wanted your company
guttedbrit 26
Don't think badly of him, he sounds like a genuinely sweet guy after coming up with an idea like that. He's probably really embarrassed, plus we've all been horribly drunk before now. Laugh it off :)
yarani 26
Whenever my boyfriend gets home drunk he wants to Skype until he falls asleep. I think it's cute.
johbstonjacob 8
At least you didn't have to clean it up