Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
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Top comments
Ambient25 25
Just think, another few years and he'll progress to cutting your brake line....
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Unless your brother is like, 2, your parents need a serious reality check on life...
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Comments (109)
Blackphoenix 9
Growing up the youngest of four boys I know your pain. My parents always took my brothers side. One time my oldest brother beat me up an my parents punished me for tattling.
speedyw03 6
Grounded on your birthday? Your parents must be missing a lot of brain cells to believe your brother.
outoftown 27
OP, call your physician. Explain what happened. Ask him/her to explain to your parents (again) how serious your allergy is. Hand them the phone, and glare while they hear what dangerous assholes they've been.
flaca273 7
Your little brother sounds like an ass and your parents grounded you on your birthday? Wtf? I feel for you
Enslaved 38
Awee, pendatik! (: I truly miss his comments. Anybody know what happened to him? He used to always be here on FML and then *poof.* I guess I'll just have to go on to that Sirinz.org to relive some of the past comments for some of the former greats! :P
jollyton 10
I've been through the same thing. They thought it was a joke until I told them what they were doing was like poisoning me and that I would press chargers for attempted murder. That's not a joke!
jollyton 10
Charges*
Bcfrmkc816 17
Better keep your door locked at night he might just give you some while your asleep. Hope not though. And your parents are screwed in the head sorry to say. Be safe
skyeyez9 25
Punch the little bitch!
_DudeGuy_ 16
He sounds evil.
_DudeGuy_ 16
Seriously guys, e-nut-h with the puns. Do you all have nutting better to do?
blackman100 20
I would actually murder him. That shit is absolutely unacceptable and **** all parents who side with the younger sibling on everything. No one gets anyone a ******* open jar of peanut butter for a birthday, and no family member old enough to give a gift makes an "honest mistake" by giving another sibling whom you live with a deadly present on accident. **** your family.