Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I found out that falling asleep with a bobby pin in your hair means waking up with one jammed in your ear drum. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
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Top comments
Mobetta_2300 22
Maybe try to put your earrings in a smarter place...
Thoricsteam20 24
Red earrings XD Yay
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Comments (61)
snowflake6666 19
I'll luv u if u luv me ????❤️?
hufflepuffle 13
What are you trying to say and how does it pertain to the fml?
friedpwnadge 25
A piercing pain, no doubt.
dreamful_artist 14
What does this have to do with the fml...
jodiitiger 13
From that I managed to get If You Really Really Love Me stuck in my head... Great; I'm going to be singing that all night
MrConcise 35
We need to go deeper. It was a conscious choice to put a heart EXACTLY between groupings of four question marks and another lone question mark. What does this mean????❤?
snowflake6666 19
I'm just trying to luve him cause luve is da bestest meds for le pain
MrConcise 35
Bait so tempting, though.
khaoticpanda 28
I feel like your trolling right now.
tchopper1969 16
get a throwing alarm clock
warsun 27
The **** is that
BoxFullOfLazy 25
My regular alarm clock is a thrown alarm clock pretty much every day.
veryunhappygirl 7
What the heck is that? Please answer some one I'm intrigued
jjmack34 15
That's your insurance policy to not over sleep, right?
kdgsmiley 23
Early to bed, early to rise...early to cries?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Well I'm sure that woke you up nicely.
asherm 15
I was going to say about the same. Like a tack on snooze button.... That'll do the trick
lyricalservant 21
not sure abt the nice part but that's one way of waking up. Wincing in pain
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That was definitely sarcasm. :P
BitchBeCray 12
Attack on Snooze Button Shingeki no Snooze Button
BananaCoconutty 26
Maybe you should go to some "hand eye coordination" lessons
OvO_XoB 5
??
e_is_for_eli 12
fairly sure the fact that OP was "barely conscious" had more to do with the incident than their hand-eye coordination
Mobetta_2300 22
Maybe try to put your earrings in a smarter place...
jadeleepenguin 29
Like in her ears, where they belong.
jryan2 16
Not when she's sleeping! Imagine if she laid on one and it pierced her neck ?
Thoricsteam20 24
Red earrings XD Yay
ASeeR 14
Im always saying that snoozing is a bad idea
dessie5678 4
No words
Farmillionaire 8
No upvotes.
fpants2010 18
So why comment?
shutupshane12 12
Comment
ninjamadi 16
ow!!!! sorry OP. I've stepped on them before but never in my hand. that hurts to think about!