Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ambient25 25
Just think, another few years and he'll progress to cutting your brake line....
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Unless your brother is like, 2, your parents need a serious reality check on life...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
goose12321 11
Your parents are a pair of dumb ignorant *****. Who cares if it's an "honest mistake" (which it clearly wasn't, besides, who gives someone peanut butter for their birthday anyway), they should've punished the kid or at least acknowledged what he did was endangering to your life, and took some course of action against him. I guess they overlooked that small detail. Now your bro knows he can get away with it.
annie_nk 23
My little brother beat the shit out of me in front if his friends to seem "cool" and I got in trouble. So I know how you feel. He'll eventually grow up.
polevaultbabe 9
When your parents leave like to work or the store, then you can get him back.
Sakura13_fml 11
An innocent mistake? How do they picture that, he just genuinely thought an opened jar of peanut butter would've made a dashing gift if not for the allergies? FYL.
nightbirdblue 27
I'm happy my sister only leaves staples and legos in the middle of the floor for me to step on now....
toon_girl 12
Unless he was really little (sort of just old enough to buy his own present and thinking that, he loves peanut butter and his big sister doesn't eat it so maybe she just needs a jar of her own) then FYL.
Kalnus 14
Sounds like my 25th birthday. My friends all know that I'm highly allergic to raspberries and made me a raspberry filled cake for my birthday, then called me a drama queen when I had to go to the hospital. People need to die now.
simsgirlgem 25
oh god your friends are either horrible horrible people or idiots maybe even both
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I would reconsider calling those people "friends".
BadLuckDude12345 14
Well that sucks... Also happy birthday. ^_^.
simsgirlgem 25
Sorry OP your brother have been spanked and grounded with your chores if it been my mom I mean she grounded my sister for kicking me in the knee when we were kids where I had scabs from wiping out on a scooter.
roachyroo 5
My mom still gets mad after 10 years when she brings nuts in my house. Hubby is allergic, she knows this, makes "hidden coconut" cake to "test" his allergies.