Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Call the cops!
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Criminal Minds
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Not a sponsored post
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Epipen time!
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
Top comments
NoShit_Sherly 11
That's nut very nice..
thehumanlyhuman 7
She acts like a nut allergy is an illness, like a cold..
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Comments (126)
NoShit_Sherly 11
That's nut very nice..
HowieDoIt 21
She's not gonna shell out any sympathy, and i bet she cracked up during the incident.
\ 28
I filbert lots of sympathy for OP.
mercifulbane 3
tired of these puns
lameuser 23
You guys are so punny.
\ 28
Either my pun sucked, or not many here know what a filbert is. I'm guessing the former.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
60- No. Your pun just sucked.
RoboCunnilingus 23
#69- That's what the former was...
BoltTheSuperdog 22
I just hope that OP and his mother eventually made al-monds.
krupa1017 18
I laughed way too hard at this! Lol
Sports_guy3 28
I can see why she's thinking like that. Some conditions, like asthma, can go away. Still, your mother's being a bitch. FYL.
BrokenDreamer24 15
#108 - Unfortunately, with nut allergies, that's generally not the case. Though, this makes my wonder what kind of nuts OP is allergic too since my allergy keeps escalating. I too am own allergic to nuts, save for peanuts since they're actually a bean, but I still can't have them since they're manufactured on equipment with other nuts; Almonds, cashchews, hazlenuts, etc. Cross contamination is a bitch. And I recently found out I'm allergic to shae nuts. I too am okay, but if OP's mom has to go refill his EpiPen every couple of years, he hasn't "grown out" of it.
ArbiterOfFML 24
allergies are a tough nut to crack. *drops mic*
Ghost308 11
Is she NUTS!!!!!!!!
silvercamaro 22
Apparently, perhaps OP has gotten over needing oxygen too?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
She must be nutty. I pecan't believe anyone sane would do such a thing!
JasonUMN 15
That's some nutty rationale your mom used. I'm glad your okay, though.
how_about_no_ 19
your profile picture made this even better
thehumanlyhuman 7
She acts like a nut allergy is an illness, like a cold..
dingleberrysteve 6
technically it is a medical condition like a cold.
ChenEighty 20
A cold is not a medical condition, dim bulb.
ptoka 20
Also, #27, technically an allergy is an inaccurate immune response, usually involving IgE instead of the typical IgG. This causes a response involving Mast Cells, Eosinophils and other "heavy hitters" of the immune response, typically those involved in parasitic worm attack/annihilation.
Llama_Face89 34
You actually can get over allergies over time. I haven't had to use an inhaler around cats for years. Dust and pollen still get me though.
jkmartinjk 16
@84: I feel like that's true when your immune system gets used to the agitator because you're being exposed to it (I grew out of my asthma as well). But it's difficult for OP to expose himself to nuts because he could die, so his system never has a chance to build up immunity towards nuts.
beaglegal 42
Put a spider on her when she's sleeping, and when she screams tell her you thought she had "gotten over" her fear of spiders.
primadonna9396 16
You can actually "grow into" allergies too, even if you're exposed frequently or constantly. After years of eating peanut butter almost daily I developed an allergy to them when I was 17, naturally my mother didn't believe me either and still tries to slip me peanuts whenever I visit her. Her logic is that "no one had allergies in the '50s" so it must be "in my head".
noobsatin 19
just wear a cardboard necklace stating your allergies. problem solved.
ChenEighty 20
Assuming her mother has the mental capacity to read it, which may be in question.
awkwardloveannie 28
op could always wear a piece of paper with various nuts in those red circles with a slash.. and in big letters wrote no nuts..
awkwardloveannie 28
do you not like homosexuals? and it gets the point across
awkwardloveannie 28
I meant it gets the point that op doesn't want or like or shouldn't have nuts. sorry you have a such perverted mind op would only wear it around their mom
awkwardloveannie 28
but I like it there
Nyx_fml 23
Shhh, awkwardloveannie, you're getting in the way of some heavy white knighting.
ChenEighty 20
This thread went downhill fast. o.O
AliceLockehart 18
@32 you mean lesbians? Makes a little more sense than "female homosexuals".
MidnaLink 35
Oh god, Noor voted down three times in a row! What is this world coming to?
Llama_Face89 34
I liked it, Noor.
RoboCunnilingus 23
People are so damn sensitive these days. You can't even a SAY homosexual without someone getting offended and assuming the worst.
awkwardloveannie 28
its not the use of the word its how "Nope" used it. while I have you what does "a SAY" mean
awkwardloveannie 28
Noor*
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@70 Lesbians are homosexuals as homosexual is merely the opposite of heterosexual. So it makes equally as much sense to say female homosexual or homosexual female, as it does to say lesbian.
Rainhawk94 27
I love the fact that people who aren't homosexual get so defense for them like they're an endangered species.
perdix 31
#32, that was a good joke. It was not at all hateful, so I'm disappointed at all of the negative reaction to it. When people take offense to things that are not offensive, they lose credibility in pointing out the truly offensive.
Llama_Face89 34
91- why? I found it pretty amusing.
cypherwars 15
well, that escalated quickly!
awkwardloveannie 28
she could have atleast warned you first even if she thought you were "over" your allergy just incase
apu_nahasapeemap 10
Atleast? Incase? Whatmakes youthink thoseare oneword?
happle 21
51, I read your comment in iambic pentameter.
ptoka 20
Aww nuts! Seriously though, wtf? Your mom is out to get you.
Carebeareatu 23
I'm glad you're okay, Op! My throat swells like a balloon when I eat nuts! D:
Rainhawk94 27
If you know what i mean
Llama_Face89 34
That just took a really weird turn.
Carebeareatu 23
And I'm just sitting here, thinking I should have expected that.
Llama_Face89 34
Probably. XD
claubea11 14
Common sense = 0
pwnman 33
I feel bad for you, be sure to rest.