Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Oh no, he remembered alright
Mech1989 13
That is insanely funny. Hopefully your parents are pretty easy going.
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Comments (85)
Mech1989 13
That is insanely funny. Hopefully your parents are pretty easy going.
HowAreYouToday 34
They're probably going to be dicks about it.
ajeppsen 25
You know what they say "easy cum, easy go."
Enslaved 38
"A little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me"
hellobobismyname 24
OP, just get him to cut the grass shorter. Then the penis will be gone.
garytg 3
Its a joke so I don't think they will be hard on them about it.
Sinistra_Blue 12
I feel like mowing genitalia into a lawn is something Perdix would do.
zingline89 18
Oh no, he remembered alright
Pwn17 25
He probably wanted to prove that he had the balls to do it.
AKGirlinSD 20
I'm hoping they all have a good sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine :-).
Nordrag 26
28 - yeah, but a sense of humor deficiency is often immune to that medicine.
Pleonasm 36
Yay, Zingie is here.
AKGirlinSD 20
32, I agree with you. Sometimes people are too serious which ruins it for everyone else. But making me laugh makes me feel better than going to a doctor and I have a fatal disease.
tygerarmy 35
Maybe he's just showing them he is a cocky man.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Nah, he sounds like a total dick. I bet the sight of that was enough to blow her parents away.
le_miserable 5
Or that he's just a bit of a ********.
NINJAKITTY12345 11
I'm sure they'll understand that he was just dicking around. They'll suck it up.
tehdarkness 21
Sounds like it may be easy to fix?? Pics!
Nohman 14
Mow it away? Or the rest of the grass depending on how he did it.
mojobanks 8
Yea, give the grass penis a mow job
CocaColaPepsi 13
Maybe your parents always dream of a penis made of grass with the smell of a freshly mowed lawn? ...hopefully
MrClean17 15
Nothing impresses the in laws like a lawn penis!
feelingold 18
a penis that smells like a freshly mown lawn? clearly it's every woman's dream.
604 11
No... He didn't forget.
dutch_girl13 20
Not looking forward to that conversation are you? Good luck OP
Californialuvv 7
that takes skill!
katiesam199 11
Such skill ! He must have had to get an areal view to map out his mowing then spray paint the grass to have an outline for the mower, then he mowed the penis to exact precision.
gracehi 33
Just a penis? You mean he forgot the balls to match? For shame! I can see why you're so embarrassed! What a dolt your husband is forgetting the testicles when depicting male genitalia in his landscaping!
zingline89 18
*manscaping
richiedbond 16
I totally agree! Without the bits the kibble is useless!