Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
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Top comments
JE553 9
Quality kid with quality humor clearly
oh_merde 11
What a dick!
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Comments (67)
JE553 9
Quality kid with quality humor clearly
corocoro 30
True, but it still calls for a talk with the parents.
JE553 9
True however mowing a penis into a lawn takes some creative skill An enrollment into an art school should be included in said talk
CaptinFalconKnig 6
I guess you could say that was a dick move
SwaggCapone 11
I hate kids
Faff 20
why would you tell the parents? it was just an innocent joke.
laden_swallow09 35
41- Do you even know what "innocent" means? It's destructive behavior, and should be treated as such. Informing the parents of his shenanigans is well within reason.
Faff 20
The only mowed a penis in the lawn. He didn't broke any windows or set the house on fire. And the lawn has to be mowed anyway, so I don't see any destructive behaviour?
TheCanucklehead 22
Next time mow a pineapple. I hear they bring out your eyes
\ 28
If he offered to do it for free, would OP be as pissed?
badluckdawson 19
You were once a kid to so stfu
Hipnog 15
93. Stop being such a dick to OP.
oh_merde 11
What a dick!
Wizboy 17
Definitely a big one.
mojobanks 8
Fix it by giving it a mow job!
esines 9
For real. Op needs to be mower careful in who they pay to work for them
Welshite 40
Well, he /did/ mow it.
Llama_Face89 34
Having your lawn fertilized?
\ 28
This reminds me of the FML where this girl's boyfriend applies sunscreen to her back at the beach, but leaves a penis-shaped area of her back uncovered...
Llama_Face89 34
I remember that one!
chosha_fml 27
He shafted you.
dzhonatan 14
That does take some skill. I'm Impressed. I'd pay $10. That seems like a reasonable price.
Llama_Face89 34
OP never said he did it WELL..
dzhonatan 14
That's a good point. Penises do come in different shapes and sizes tho...
NeatNit 33
Could have been worse, at least it's easy to fix (just mow the rest). Did you pay him before the job, or intend to pay after?
_GoodGuy 11
It'll eventually cum off. Don't worry OP
ILoveMyArm 15
For now, just cover it up to protect it from harsh criticism.
euphoricness 28
I wonder if mowing a penis in the lawn was HARD for him to do. ...hmmm
Demonax_fml 8
Well, that was a dick move.
fancyturdhat 11
Oh dear. Now you will have to finish mowing your lawn yourself... fyl indeed.