Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you." My heart melted and I told her that I loved her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML
Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML
Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML
Today, I bought my dog an expensive plushie toy because I thought it would last longer than the cheap ones. He ignored it completely and spent two hours playing with the cardboard box it came in. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML
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Top comments
facingforeverr 0
change the batteries
PsychoMerk 0
Josh, sweetie, do you need a hug? :] because you seem awfully irritable 9_9
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Comments (161)
cheezewhizz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
and so you want our sympathy?? lol
Melkezidech 0
No way?
JoshTheMaggot 8
CHANGE THE ****** BATTERIES AND STFU. Go out there and get some real friends and a life.
thor89 0
I'll be funny if you would call a suicide hotline and no one would answer HAHAHAHa __ •_• <>
PsychoMerk 0
Josh, sweetie, do you need a hug? :] because you seem awfully irritable 9_9
Emofluffinzhehe 0
hah no tea parties for you!
JoshTheMaggot 8
@psychomerk if your givin the hugs I'll take them XD your hella pretty. but this fmls stupid toys break batteries die. she needs to get a bf the will take her to build a bear and get her a new one. hell I'll take her if she looks like u psycho hahaha
andruha1123 5
where is snickerdoodles when u need her?
Fuzzy_Old_Peache 0
Lol ftw thor!
Blondie08_fml 0
GO back to preschool its rejected brain surgeon
PurpleSquirrel 0
roflmfao #19
demon1k 0
And then you went to blow your brains out but your shotgun misfired??? FYL
woofis 0
well given the circumstances the coincidence must have been quite discouraging
george456 0
#19: There was recently an FML where that actually happened.
joshy_boy 0
i know how u feel...
suppressed08 2
You be needing one of those mirror thingymabobbies. :)
akagron 0
OP needs a Lilith Mirror so she can expose everybody else to be ugly, so she can get lotsa' friends.
quikwit1212 0
@67: Dejected is an actual word. It basically means depressed. Guess who needs to go back to preschool?
ipts 0
why does evr1 get mad when people mispell words? maybe they font feel like typin the whole god d@mn word out? and u obviously still know what theyre sayin, so stfu and stop b*tchin
cooluc 0
Today, my stuffed animal's batteries died. FML
fudgenick 4
maybe everyone would like you more if you stopped being so self pitying as to think a stuffed animal rejected you. YOU are rejecting IT by not giving it more batteries :(
lamppost1423 0
s
lamppost1423 0
son of a b****
Angi95 3
Play in the rain. Weee!!!
alexd10293 0
Are you serious? The bear is simply broken, it is merely a stuffed bear, therefore it cannot have feelings. Having said that, I am sorry that your bear is broken.
shlee053 2
that sucksss
ladiesman14 0
are you a squirter like cythera the **** star ?if not why dont you just hump a pillow until you reach the big o ?
hippiechick96 3
98, that's so creepy, confusing, and random o.o
texas_justice 0
...and the bad news is, no one here cares either.
Nuclear_Ninja 6
Dude shut up. It's obvious he's having a bad day. Im backing him 100%, because I'm going through something similar right now. At least he has friends.
gamegeek42 6
I think op is a girl lol
MrHighRo1995 0
Nigga u gay to
teentee401 37
You cared enough to comment, 3
PsychoMerk 0
*squeezes OP*.... wow. you really ARE unlovable :'(
joshy_boy 0
your sexy :) i want a hug :(
cheezewhizz 0
Yeah, same sitch, dude.
facingforeverr 0
second
PsychoMerk 0
I "recommend" a dictionary :) and a bullet in your mouth.
GeneralCha 3
Why would he put a bullet in his mouth? I would understand if you wanted him to shoot himself but just putting a bullet in his mouth will solve nothing =P
bebz_fml 0
yeah cause you would totally shoot yourself if you spelt a word wrong? note the sarcasm..
MF12 0
she wants to shoot him because he RECOMMENDED SUICIDE
IronMaiden45 0
dude that Is harsh
facingforeverr 0
change the batteries
Invisable_No_one 0
aww its ok i love you :) *hugs OP* .....wait....ew....whats that smell......EW.....im sorry you are too smelly to be lovable.....go shower
TheAbsentOne 0
Win.
nazooer 11
How the **** is that a "win"? Stupid.
KurouTenshi 0
well maybe if you changed the batteries once in a while, it'd feel loved an would return your feelings.
gagneana000 5
Haha! Loser! Just kidding.... That sucks. At least it didn't grow in to a 50ft Teddy Monster and ate you. Teddy's have INCREDIABLY bad indigestion so you could have been in there for a very very very long time!
Apolloyn 0
I know that story,sucks but it happens, keep that chin up :)