Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zingline89 18
Oh no, he remembered alright
Mech1989 13
That is insanely funny. Hopefully your parents are pretty easy going.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
WhiteCrimson 23
Lol Its a man thing.....
Pesticides 19
its more of a joke thing...
Speibrand 10
Well it's seems you had enough time to type about it...
Ayanpatel95 7
I think you can easily fix it....btw anyone remember the scene from Harold and kumar- White Castle? They have big penis mowed in te end? That's wht I'm imagining
graceinsheepwear 34
13 Getting a big penis mowed in the end is always an interesting scene. It's no wonder you're imagining it!
pitbulls13 6
there was one almost exactly the same as this not too long ago...
sacrosanct2 23
I doubt he forgot
TeenieRee_2032 27
Hey OP, don't take life so seriously, no one gets out alive anyway.
alblynne 8
Ahahaha made my day
Mightytall 35
Hilarious! I will try that at home too! In laws are coming July 10th :-)
Mimorie17 12
You have a funny husband there lol.
gabbi630 16
He remembers all right.